Hello.
I'm calling myself "Sakura".

About me.....?

It's difficult, because I don't know who I am.

I like microcosms, macrocosms, and paradox. I like putting words together that sound nice.
When I'm well I love beauty and when I'm not.....I'm a shameful abyss. My life has been exquisitely painful. I am always asking questions but no answer is ever enough. I want change, I want the world to be less broken. I want somewhere to put my love. I can cry at a photograph. I can laugh at the moon. My emotions surprise me.

I want to learn Japanese, but I lack the dedication.
I train in Shorin-Ryu karate, a kata-based style (no fighting), for spiritual reasons. I'm a vegan. These two things are very important to me.

I feel mostly misunderstood.

Hi Sakura, and welcome. I like your introduction.

I've read that INFP stands for I Never Find Perfection, and parts of your post remind me of that.

How do non-fighting karate work?

Thanks

I used to do Shotokan Karate which is a very "hard" and strong style, with lots of partner work, but I found it too violent and aggressive - even thought the ethos of the club was to learn the techniques for self-defense and never use them unless absolutely necessary, it made me feel wound up, tense and angry. The style I'm doing now is based on kata - which are sequences of blocks, kicks, punches etc, kind of like a 'Karate dance' It's very technical and requires high attention to detail. It's softer and more relaxed and I find it more artistic and meditative. It's sort of like Tai Chi sped up We've been learning from a master in Okinawa, Japan, which is where the art originates from.

Nice to 'meet' you. I shouldn't start going on about karate because I could speak about it for ages lol

Nothing wrong with going on about karate for ages.

Actually, when I was reading your description, it did bring Tai Chi to mind, and then you mentioned "Tai Chi sped up"! I used to do Wing Chun kung fu, which is geared more towards self-defense against a stronger attacker, rather than aggression, and we would warm up using a series of moves that were very meditative as well.

Thanks for the explanation.

Wing Chun is very interesting, I'd love to do that but unfortunately I don't have much use of my right hand and wrist, from what little I know about it, it involves a lot of movement in the wrists? I've been thinking about going to watch a class at our local Chinese community center.

It's definitely worth a watch. I like Wing Chun because it's all about using leverage to achieve maximum advantage, or simply using deflection to evade a much stronger attacker's forceful blows. It's a really intelligent form of self-defense.

From memory--as I learned a long time ago--Wing Chun's moves tend to focus more on having a good stance, which involves flexible and agile wrists. You don't need a huge amount of strength in the wrists, but they do need to be mobile. A lot of the force tends to be through the centre line, so that your main body mass provides strength/force, while the arms are held firmly in position. That's why Wing Chun suits women (it was invented by a woman who was watching a stork fight a rat, apparently) as it's not reliant on upper body strength. Having said that, we had a lot of men in our class as well.

I guess otherwise you could try tai chi, which is good for balancing your energy, or even sword dancing... I live in Hong Kong and recently saw a sword dancing class. It was so elegant and looked incredibly peaceful.

Konichiwa, Sakura-san! My grasp of Japanese comes from 20 years of teaching karate (Ishinryu, a sports style broken off from Kyokushin, without the full contact and baseball-bat breaking and a strong focus on kata for perfection of technique) and a deep love of Sushi and other Japanese foods! iirc, one of the ideas in Wing tsun is finding alternatives to direct force. While you may have some movement issues with one arm, alternatives exist. A number of the katas I know have some fairly large rotations of the wrists and hands, how do you manage? Mostly in what we were taught as the Pinan katas - you may know them as Heian?

Konichiwa Mykl_c-san! Hajimemashite! I've heard of Ishinryu, though I don't know much about it...in Shorin-ryu we call them the Pinan/Pian kata, but yes, when I was doing Shotokan I learned their Heians. How do I manage? Well, I just don't do the movements properly, basically lol...unless it's for some special reason like a grading, where I will force myself through the pain to do it as best I can. I have a vid on youtube of me attempting Passai Sho (Shotokan's Bassai Dai)...here it is! I've much to improve on...

Sakura - nice kata! Can we get the camera at 45 degrees to the action? Had a look at your other videos, the Sanchin conditioning one was simply brutal. Reminded me of a comment from an instructor at a dan level grading - "Your breathing is excellent - why can I hear it?"
That's a fair amount of strapping on your right wrist, I'm frightened to ask what happened.
Nice Neko ashi-dachi by the way!

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Actually, for Shorin-ryu, the heel's too high...but that's the Shotokan in me! Thanks. Couldn't do from 45 degrees at the time because there was a class going on at the same time lol...but my boyfriend has a better video of him doing the same kata on his website, hyakudojo.co.uk, if you're interested

Yes...that was a very famous Goju-ryu instructor you may have heard of him, Morio Higaonna...it's a harder style with lots of conditioning stuff I wouldn't like to be the guy doing the kata, personally...! Higaonna is literally like a rock - it's crazy. He actually has a massive rock that's been in the family for generations which he literally batters his hands against...his skin is all calloused and looks like it has turned into the stone! His fist = 2 big rocks! Scary stuff...but a very nice man

You are a writer. I can spot em a mile away, and its obvious you like to write and you do it well. But lest that make you feel too boxed in, you can be other things too.

Are you sure about being a 5? I don't know much about them but some of what you say sounds like classic 4, especially the "don't know who I am". But you know better than I do, just curious.

Sakura - had a look at the site, the Passai Sho is you! His Passai Dai looks great, only one kiai? Did you run a vintage film filter over the video?

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Oh yeah lol...you have to click the "click for more info" to see his version! It's the vid on the left.
Yes quite a few of the kata in the traditional Shorin-ryu have only one kiai...we were surprised, too! In Shotokan it's usually 2 kiais. There is one kiai in Passai Sho also, but I didn't do it because of the class going on in the background...!
We did run a vintage film filter over the videos...mainly because the lights in the dojo flicker slightly...not enough to notice when you're training, but the camera picks it out epileptic-fit-inducingly badly! The filter fixed that

Sakura, you look amazing! I love your focus and precision... and your choice of music.

Aha! The beard is a dead giveaway. Do you learn the Bunkai as you learn the kata? I've always found it very useful, helps to see the kata as a whole rather than just a bunch of techniques.

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Sorry - I missed this post somehow!
Thanks for the compliment - I do love to write. I have written a book in fact (unpublished). But as far as writing is concerned, I'm a perfectionist (not when it comes to writing on forums etc, lazy then, I mean when writing a piece of "work" or whatever)...so I spent 3 years writing a book, finished it, then decided it was crap and I didn't like it

Also, I started a creative writing open university course, for my first assignment I got 94%...for my second, I got 76%. I was so disappointed that I quit the course (I was ill at the time as well though, in hospital for mental health issues - so my perspective was a bit warped!). I couldn't handle any negative feedback either - I'm too over-sensitive! If someone doesn't like a part of my work, I think I am bad, shit, horrible person, talentless, useless, the list goes on... not always though, some people are really good at giving constructive criticism sensitively...but the brutality of critique in the writing world is too much for me to handle...
I struggle with plots, too. Can't seem to think of decent structured plots.
I wish I could write for a living, though. it would be the perfect occupation for me.

Do you write?

I took the basic test and it showed I was a 5...but I think 4 was the next closest. I'll take it again and see what happens

sciski - thanks the music is traditional Okinawan music. They are very proud of their culture including their music. It's nice to see.
The precision is not nearly as precise as it should be...I think Arakaki sensei would shake his head if he saw it lol...many mistakes. But, everyone can always improve.

mykl - yes, we learn bunkai but it is much more brief than the shotokan where we'd have a string of movements in a long sequence. The bunkai Arakaki sensei teaches is basic but effective, his ethos being if your technique is good, why should you need to hit a person over and over again? There is less focus on bunkai, too...and no free sparring. It's mostly kata-focused. I like it that way

weird, I re-took the enneagram test and you were right, I scored a "4". I must have answered some questions differently this time! I'll take it again in a few days, and see if it changes again lol.....

The description of type 4 definitely seems to fit me better.

Maybe 4 wing 5? Busy today, will reply later...

Sorry - I missed this post somehow!
Thanks for the compliment - I do love to write. I have written a book in fact (unpublished). But as far as writing is concerned, I'm a perfectionist (not when it comes to writing on forums etc, lazy then, I mean when writing a piece of "work" or whatever)...so I spent 3 years writing a book, finished it, then decided it was crap and I didn't like it

How very INFP of you. And maybe it was crap (and maybe not), but that's OK. One of the fun things about writing is you grow with it and it grows with you. Maybe if you think about it as a journey to become a better writer it will be easier on yourself than demanding that you be one right now. Perfectionism is the enemy though, but "good enoughism" is your friend. I don't remember the exact quote but "artists never complete a work, they just abandon it" is something I always try to keep in mind. I'm never completely happy with anything I create. You just do the best you can, within reason, and then call it good enough. The next one will be better. If the first one was perfect you'd have no reason to do another.

I'll bet your book wasn't crap. It might just need some things worked on.



Also, I started a creative writing open university course, for my first assignment I got 94%...for my second, I got 76%. I was so disappointed that I quit the course (I was ill at the time as well though, in hospital for mental health issues - so my perspective was a bit warped!). I couldn't handle any negative feedback either - I'm too over-sensitive! If someone doesn't like a part of my work, I think I am bad, shit, horrible person, talentless, useless, the list goes on... not always though, some people are really good at giving constructive criticism sensitively...but the brutality of critique in the writing world is too much for me to handle...
I struggle with plots, too. Can't seem to think of decent structured plots.
I wish I could write for a living, though. it would be the perfect occupation for me.

Let's see, 94+76/2= 85% average. Not too shabby. 94 is well above shabby. 76 means you had a bad day, or missed an opportunity to learn something, or maybe that lesson just didn't click with that instructor. Another one might have loved it.

Sensitivity is a problem for many INFPs, and many writers, I'm sure. Your writing is not you though, so even if you write something that truly sucks (like I have), that doesn't mean YOU suck. I know its hard to separate in practice. i sure appreciate people who can criticize constructively, and being INFP I get offended by the others too. But I won't let them define my value.



Do you write?

Yes I do. I'm an oddball though, in that I write nonfiction. I'm just finishing up a creative nonfiction class myself. I procrastinated for years but am glad I did it. I have no plots either, that may be why i write nonfiction. I don't need to create plots in nonfiction because the stories are already there, but I can still write creatively about things that are important to me.




I took the basic test and it showed I was a 5...but I think 4 was the next closest. I'll take it again and see what happens

Yes, I think 4 helps explain a lot if thats the answer you get now. The self-criticism, the uncertain sense of identity, the sensitivity, the creativity...but the good thing about learning Enneagram, for me (also 4), is that it suggests ways of overcoming or minimizing the 4's natural tendencies toward self destruction, or at least unhealthy attitudes beliefs and behaviors. I really like this page

http://www.enneagraminstitute.com/TypeFourOverview.asp

although a lot of it isn't pretty, it also holds the key to being happier 4. I've been meaning to start a thread about that but don't have time now, but this sort of sums up key points: That the 4 has to transcend itself to find itself, and one way of doing that is to stay engaged in outward activities and expressions like creativity. But the natural tendency of the unhappy 4 is to disengage and go inward looking for answers, and so it spirals down...

This is another reason why writing nonfiction is good for me, because it keep me focused on the real, physical, exterior world, but I can paint it any color I want to...it makes me very happy to write something i like.