I am currently 22 so I might be below the requested age.

I went to college away from home and learned to value the time I spent at home more often. I look forward to spending time with my family because I see everything in life as much more fleeting and temporary than it once was. A couple years ago, I went through a very ambitious self improvement program (perhaps too ambitious, as I was very emotionally desperate at the time) and while I have retained some of the aspects of this improvement, in other aspects I haven't improved very much. I'm disappointed in myself because of that. I'm still working towards my ideal life in both love and work. In my dreams, it already happened right now but dreams often don't come true.

_________________
"It is a melancholy fact that massive works of the intellect do not spring from the abstract workings of the brain and the imagination; they are deeply rooted in the personality." -Paul Johnson

INFP, 4w5 sx/sp

Getting the hang of life takes a whole life-time. You're making progress, and that's what really matters.

_________________
What would the world be, once bereft
Of wet and of wildness? Let them be left,
O let them be left, wildness and wet;
Long live the weeds and the wilderness yet. - Gerard Manley Hopkins

My experience in my twenties (still in them, 26) parallels a lot of what I've read already in these posts! Definitely my twenties are much more enjoyable and comfortable than my teen years, because not only did I escape the rigid confines of the high school world, but ever since I've been slowly slowly slowly learning that 1) I was trying to hard to be the opposite of what I was and 2) whoever I was worried about disappointing by being myself wasn't noticing because most people are busy worrying about themselves instead of me!

I read that this personality type struggles with self image, that we're always striving towards an ideal self and it's hard to be happy with our work in progress. I definitely feel that compared to other people my age, I tend to be less satisfied and less sure of myself. It's taken me a long time to realize it's ok to want to be alone and to have a bigger gush of feelings or thoughts about something. Even still I haven't really realized it because I have yet to feel comfortable with it. It kind of feels like I'm wearing a new shirt I really like but is kind of weird and I'm slightly embarrassed by it so I'm unsure and wearing it awkwardly. I wonder if this a trend for other INFPs in their twenties, or if it is because I'm also much more anxious than most people.

Like others' experiences, it has been a rollercoaster, going from times of being on track and life going well to sudden times of self-doubt and closing in on myself and numbing out the real world. It's like I'll accept myself and be happy with where my life is heading and then suddenly I'm exhausted and depressed and have no confidence and want everything and everyone to go away. So I have more awareness but still haven't learned what to do, how to balance my life, etc. Here's hoping it evens out when I get to my thirties?? It's already getting easier, compared to my early twenties (shudder~~).

It's also been a time of coming out of my own inner world and living more in the real world. And realizing the beauty and complexity of that world, not only in daily life but the beauty in people around me and building relationships. There is a whole lot going on outside of myself but I still always forget and have to come back and remind myself. But also balancing that with my need to withdraw back into my own world and recharge.

I've kind of forgotten what the original post was about specifically, so if this is unrelated and comes off as just self-indulgent rambling, I'm sorry.

Hi silky_greens and welcome.



This reminds me of Rule 2 from Roger Rosenblatt's "Rules for Aging":
NOBODY IS THINKING ABOUT YOU Yes, I know, you are certain that your friends are becoming your enemies; that your grocer, garbage man, clergyman, sister-in-law, and your dog are all of the opinion that you have put on weight, that you have lost your touch, that you have lost your mind; furthermore, you are convinced that everyone spends two-thirds of every day commenting on your disintegration, denigrating your work, plotting your assassination. I promise you: Nobody is thinking about you. They are thinking about themselves--just like you.

Read more: http://www.time.com/time/magazine/artic ... z1S45taEJx



There is a joke that says that INFP stands for I Never Find Perfection. Introverted Feeling sets up a powerful ideal.



One of my friends (who is also an introvert, funnily enough) is always accusing people who want some alone time of being anti-social. This is the same guy who feels the need to take long motorcycling excursions in the countryside by himself. Sometimes it's just people projecting their own discomfort with their quieter side on you.



Oh yes, things really mellow out. I'm 31 and enjoying myself. On the old INFP forum there used to be an "INFPs who are 35+" thread which was always comforting and full of wisdom.


Sounds like you're reaching a good balancing point.

20's suck...30's are like magic so far ;-)

_________________
You don't know what you have until it's gone...

Thanks Sciski, I liked the article, especially the point about people saying "great". Had to laugh because at work all the office people say "great" when they think its a bad idea, because we aren't supposed to have any negativity or something like that...

And it's great to hear that things calm down more in your thirties, that means only four more years

haha, I took a motorcycle trip up the east coast last year...

(I'm 23 and probably a hipster)