Total denial of reality.

Understand that the ESTJ way of looking at things has value.

At its very best, it is:
- impartial
- fair
- practical
- organised

When something has value to you, you'll be more able to work with it rather than oppose it or try to avoid it.

Understand that ESTJs have Fi running it all behind the facade. Think of a by-the-book policeman who does it because their deep feeling is driving them. Their actions are Te-Si, but they have Fi at their core.

None of this advice is practical though! I guess it's more about attitude change, where you no longer feel you need to 'survive' the world, but instead can navigate through it.

Be assertive. We can be very easy-going, sometimes more than is good for us, so we have a tendency to keep taking extra work onto our shoulders long after we should have said no. Other people aren't psychic, so they'll just keep pouring extra work onto us until we complain, because we've given them no reason to think that we're not ok with it.

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What would the world be, once bereft
Of wet and of wildness? Let them be left,
O let them be left, wildness and wet;
Long live the weeds and the wilderness yet. - Gerard Manley Hopkins

I second The Introvert Advantage, it's a great book and made me feel slightly better about being an introvert at least!

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~I'll think of a witty comment later, or not. Maybe something to do with clouds?!~

Our "calm and pleasant" facade is good for buying time.

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There's reason to be afraid, and reason to open your heart. ~ Seal

Refreshment for your ears: www.kexp.org

Indeed!

Another of FineLines great posts:
http://infp.globalchatter.com/messageboard/viewtopic.php?t=13521&highlight=

Gin

Survival, ala place sedative tranquilizers in coffee and tea and stir with milk, serve at your workplace or functions.

Gin wrote: "My goal for this thread is to provide a place to post things that have helped INFPs survive in this crazy world of ours - all of it, but particularly the parts that seem to be controlled by ESTJs. Like this thread from INFPgc:"

http://infp.globalchatter.com/messagebo ... highlight=

Thanks for this link Gin. The posts from fine line gave me hope and some concrete advice for
coping with daily tasks at work and home! It was just the info I needed!

Sunny

I concur with the others who suggest The Introvert Advantage. Also, I recommend Julia Cameron's Artist's Way series: The Artist's Way, Walking in This World, and The Vein of Gold. Each one has 12 weeks' worth of exercises that help you get in touch with your creativity and what you want in life. All of them helped me to see that there is nothing wrong with being myself. The Disease to Please is a great book about learning how to stop being too nice to people, a problem many of us INFPs often have. I am sure there are more self-help books that I am probably forgetting, but those are the best ones I can think of off the top of my head.

Fineline does it again - he's too articulate to quote so here's the link:

http://infp.globalchatter.com/messageboard/viewtopic.php?t=14132&highlight=

Perhaps this would be more of a Type talk subject, but the practical applications to life are why I put it here.
Gin

And again: http://infp.globalchatter.com/messageboard/viewtopic.php?t=14229&highlight=

Use Fi to create your own fantasy world (like authors of LOTR or Narnia) and sell it to the world. Hard sell your values by conjuring utopia. Or similarly, write about childhood in a very entertaining way, and remind grown-ups about the invaluable lessons of childhood, the way Peanuts author, Charles Schulz did.




Or learn to "compartmentalize" your Fi reactions like an S-T does so that Fi doesn't overwhelm you or stop you from doing what must be done.

Some of the links posted above are broken and the thread is a year old but the topic is perennially useful.

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That's a good idea. I have hundreds of fantasy worlds in my head, just a question of getting them down on paper

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~I'll think of a witty comment later, or not. Maybe something to do with clouds?!~

Ooh yeah. Fantasy worlds for video games?

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Learn to stop acting on the negative voice in your head.

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“Your task is not to seek for love, but merely to seek and find all the barriers within yourself that you have built against it.” Jalal ad-Din Rumi

My spiritual explorations: http://sundrenchedclarity.wordpress.com

I wonder if this negative voice is mainly expressed by INFPs through their Fe function. For example, do you as an INFP often imagine what other people might say or how they might react to whatever it is you believe you should do? Do you often evaluate your personal values in the light of others' opinions? (I'm basing this on Beebe's theory of the Opposing Personality which, for the INFP, is Extraverted Feeling playing the role of Devil's Advocate.)

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I do, but I'm not sure how much of it is down to Fe, I usually put it down to my being a social variant type 4.

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What would the world be, once bereft
Of wet and of wildness? Let them be left,
O let them be left, wildness and wet;
Long live the weeds and the wilderness yet. - Gerard Manley Hopkins

How about your 6th function, Ni. Do you use it to caution others about their strategies/plans of action?

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