Portrait of an INFP - Introverted iNtuitive Feeling Perceiving
(Introverted Feeling with Extraverted Intuition)
The Idealist

As an INFP, your primary mode of living is focused internally, where you deal with things according to how you feel about them, or how they fit into your personal value system. Your secondary mode is external, where you take things in primarily via your intuition.

INFPs, more than other iNtuitive Feeling types, are focused on making the world a better place for people. Their primary goal is to find out their meaning in life. What is their purpose? How can they best serve humanity in their lives? They are idealists and perfectionists, who drive themselves hard in their quest for achieving the goals they have identified for themselves

INFPs are highly intuitive about people. They rely heavily on their intuitions to guide them, and use their discoveries to constantly search for value in life. They are on a continuous mission to find the truth and meaning underlying things. Every encounter and every piece of knowledge gained gets sifted through the INFP's value system, and is evaluated to see if it has any potential to help the INFP define or refine their own path in life. The goal at the end of the path is always the same - the INFP is driven to help people and make the world a better place.

Generally thoughtful and considerate, INFPs are good listeners and put people at ease. Although they may be reserved in expressing emotion, they have a very deep well of caring and are genuinely interested in understanding people. This sincerity is sensed by others, making the INFP a valued friend and confidante. An INFP can be quite warm with people he or she knows well.

INFPs do not like conflict, and go to great lengths to avoid it. If they must face it, they will always approach it from the perspective of their feelings. In conflict situations, INFPs place little importance on who is right and who is wrong. They focus on the way that the conflict makes them feel, and indeed don't really care whether or not they're right. They don't want to feel badly. This trait sometimes makes them appear irrational and illogical in conflict situations. On the other hand, INFPs make very good mediators, and are typically good at solving other people's conflicts, because they intuitively understand people's perspectives and feelings, and genuinely want to help them.

INFPs are flexible and laid-back, until one of their values is violated. In the face of their value system being threatened, INFPs can become aggressive defenders, fighting passionately for their cause. When an INFP has adopted a project or job which they're interested in, it usually becomes a "cause" for them. Although they are not detail-oriented individuals, they will cover every possible detail with determination and vigor when working for their "cause".

When it comes to the mundane details of life maintenance, INFPs are typically completely unaware of such things. They might go for long periods without noticing a stain on the carpet, but carefully and meticulously brush a speck of dust off of their project booklet.

INFPs do not like to deal with hard facts and logic. Their focus on their feelings and the Human Condition makes it difficult for them to deal with impersonal judgment. They don't understand or believe in the validity of impersonal judgment, which makes them naturally rather ineffective at using it. Most INFPs will avoid impersonal analysis, although some have developed this ability and are able to be quite logical. Under stress, it's not uncommon for INFPs to mis-use hard logic in the heat of anger, throwing out fact after (often inaccurate) fact in an emotional outburst.

INFPs have very high standards and are perfectionists. Consequently, they are usually hard on themselves, and don't give themselves enough credit. INFPs may have problems working on a project in a group, because their standards are likely to be higher than other members' of the group. In group situations, they may have a "control" problem. The INFP needs to work on balancing their high ideals with the requirements of every day living. Without resolving this conflict, they will never be happy with themselves, and they may become confused and paralyzed about what to do with their lives.

INFPs are usually talented writers. They may be awkard and uncomfortable with expressing themselves verbally, but have a wonderful ability to define and express what they're feeling on paper. INFPs also appear frequently in social service professions, such as counselling or teaching. They are at their best in situations where they're working towards the public good, and in which they don't need to use hard logic.

INFPs who function in their well-developed sides can accomplish great and wonderful things, which they will rarely give themselves credit for. Some of the great, humanistic catalysts in the world have been INFPs.

Jungian functional preference ordering:

Dominant: Introverted Feeling
Auxiliary: Extraverted Intuition
Tertiary: Introverted Sensing
Inferior: Extraverted Thinking

Careers for INFP Personality Types

Whether you're a young adult trying to find your place in the world, or a not-so-young adult trying to find out if you're moving along the right path, it's important to understand yourself and the personality traits which will impact your likeliness to succeed or fail at various careers. It's equally important to understand what is really important to you. When armed with an understanding of your strengths and weaknesses, and an awareness of what you truly value, you are in an excellent position to pick a career which you will find rewarding.

INFPs generally have the following traits:

* Strong value systems
* Warmly interested in people
* Service-oriented, usually putting the needs of others above their own
* Loyal and devoted to people and causes
* Future-oriented
* Growth-oriented; always want to be growing in a positive direction
* Creative and inspirational
* Flexible and laid-back, unless a ruling principle is violated
* Sensitive and complex
* Dislike dealing with details and routine work
* Original and individualistic - "out of the mainstream"
* Excellent written communication skills
* Prefer to work alone, and may have problems working on teams
* Value deep and authentic relationships
* Want to be seen and appreciated for who they are

The INFP is a special, sensitive individual who needs a career which is more than a job. The INFP needs to feel that everything they do in their lives is in accordance with their strongly-felt value systems, and is moving them and/or others in a positive, growth-oriented direction. They are driven to do something meaningful and purposeful with their lives. The INFP will be happiest in careers which allow them to live their daily lives in accordance with their values, and which work towards the greater good of humanity. It's worth mentioning that nearly all of the truly great writers in the world have been INFPs.

The following list of professions is built on our impressions of careers which would be especially suitable for an INFP. It is meant to be a starting place, rather than an exhaustive list. There are no guarantees that any or all of the careers listed here would be appropriate for you, or that your best career match is among those listed.

Possible Career Paths for the INFP:

* Writers
* Counselors / Social Workers
* Teachers / Professors
* Psychologists
* Psychiatrists
* Musicians
* Clergy / Religious Workers

INFP Relationships


INFPs present a calm, pleasant face to the world. They appear to be tranquil and peaceful to others, with simple desires. In fact, the INFP internally feels his or her life intensely. In the relationship arena, this causes them to have a very deep capacity for love and caring which is not frequently found with such intensity in the other types. The INFP does not devote their intense feelings towards just anyone, and are relatively reserved about expressing their inner-most feelings. They reserve their deepest love and caring for a select few who are closest to them. INFPs are generally laid-back, supportive and nurturing in their close relationships. With Introverted Feeling dominating their personality, they're very sensitive and in-tune with people's feelings, and feel genuine concern and caring for others. Slow to trust others and cautious in the beginning of a relationship, an INFP will be fiercely loyal once they are committed. With their strong inner core of values, they are intense individuals who value depth and authenticity in their relationships, and hold those who understand and accept the INFP's perspectives in especially high regard. INFPs are usually adaptable and congenial, unless one of their ruling principles has been violated, in which case they stop adapting and become staunch defenders of their values. They will be uncharacteristically harsh and rigid in such a situation.

INFP Strengths

Most INFPs will exhibit the following strengths with regards to relationship issues:

* Warmly concerned and caring towards others
* Sensitive and perceptive about what others are feeling
* Loyal and committed - they want lifelong relationships
* Deep capacity for love and caring
* Driven to meet other's needs
* Strive for "win-win" situations
* Nurturing, supportive and encouraging
* Likely to recognize and appreciate other's need for space
* Able to express themselves well
* Flexible and diverse

INFP Weaknesses

Most INFPs will exhibit the following weaknesses with regards to relationship issues:

* May tend to be shy and reserved
* Don't like to have their "space" invaded
* Extreme dislike of conflict
* Extreme dislike of criticism
* Strong need to receive praise and positive affirmation
* May react very emotionally to stressful situations
* Have difficulty leaving a bad relationship
* Have difficulty scolding or punishing others
* Tend to be reserved about expressing their feelings
* Perfectionistic tendancies may cause them to not give themselves enough credit
* Tendency to blame themselves for problems, and hold everything on their own shoulders

INFPs as Lovers

"To love means to open ourselves to the negative as well as the positive - to grief, sorrow, and disappointment as well as to joy, fulfillment, and an intensity of consciousness we did not know was possible before." -- Rollo May

INFPs feels tremendous loyalty and commitment to their relationships. With the Feeling preference dominating their personality, harmony and warm feelings are central to the INFP's being. They feel a need to be in a committed, loving relationship. If they are not involved in such a relationship, the INFP will be either actively searching for one, or creating one in their own minds.

INFPs tendency to be idealistic and romantically-minded may cause them to fantasize frequently about a "more perfect" relationship or situation. They may also romanticize their mates into having qualities which they do not actually possess. Most INFPs have a problem with reconciling their highly idealistic and romantic views of life with the reality of their own lives, and so they are constantly somewhat unsettled with themselves and with their close personal relationships. However, the INFP's deeply-felt, sincere love for their mates and their intense dislike of conflict keeps the INFP loyal to their relationships, in spite of their troubles achieving peace of mind.

Unlike other types who tend to hold their mates up on a pedastal, the INFP's tendency to do so does not really turn into a negative thing in the relationship. INFPs hold tightly to their ideals, and work hard at constantly seeing their mates up on that pedastal. The frequent INFP result is a strongly affirming, proud and affectionate attitude towards their mates which stands the test of time.

INFPs are not naturally interested in administrative matters such as bill-paying and house-cleaning, but they can be very good at performing these tasks when they must. They can be really good money managers when they apply themselves.

Sexually, the INFP is likely to be initially slow to open up to their mates. Once their trust has been earned, the INFP will view sexual intimacy as an opportunity for expressing their deep-seated love and affection. More than the actual sexual act, they will value giving and receiving love and sweet words. With their tendency to enjoy serving others, they may value their mates satisfaction above their own.

One real problem area for the INFP is their intensive dislike of conflict and criticism. The INFP is quick to find a personal angle in any critical comment, whether or not anything personal was intended. They will tend to take any sort of criticism as a personal attack on their character, and will usually become irrational and emotional in such situations. This can be a real problem for INFPs who are involved with persons who have Thinking and Judging preferences. "TJ"s relate to others with a objective, decisive attitude that frequently shows an opinion on the topic of conversation. If the opinion is negative, the TJ's attitude may be threatening to the INFP, who will tend to respond emotionally to the negativity and be vaguely but emphatically convinced that the negativity is somehow the INFP's fault.

For INFPs with extremely dominant Feeling preferences who have not developed their Intuitive sides sufficiently to gather good data for their decision making processes, their dislike of conflict and criticism can foretell doom and gloom for intimate relationships. These INFPs will react with extreme emotional distress to conflict situations, and will not know what to do about it. Since they will have no basis for determining what action to take, they will do whatever they can to get rid of the conflict - which frequently means lashing out irrationally at others, or using guilt manipulation to get their mates to give them the positive support that they crave. This kind of behavior does not bode well for healthy, long-term relationships. Individuals who recognize this tendency in themselves should work on their ability to take criticism objectively rather than personally. They should also try to remember that conflict situations are not always their fault, and they're definitely not the end of the world. Conflict is a fact of life, and facing it and addressing it immediately avoids having to deal with it in the future, after it has become a much larger problem.

INFPs are very aware of their own space, and the space of others. They value their personal space, and the freedom to do their own thing. They will cherish the mate who sees the INFP for who they are, and respects their unique style and perspectives. The INFP is not likely to be overly jealous or possessive, and is likely to respect their mate's privacy and independence. In fact, the INFP is likely to not only respect their mate's perspectives and goals, but to support them with loyal firmness.

In general, INFPs are warmly affirming and loving partners who make the health of their relationships central in their lives. Although cautious in the beginning, they become firmly loyal to their committed relationships, which are likely to last a lifetime. They take their relationships very seriously, and will put forth a great deal of effort into making them work.

Although two well-developed individuals of any type can enjoy a healthy relationship, INFP's natural partner is the ENFJ, or the ESFJ. INFP's dominant function of Introverted Feeling is best matched with a partner whose dominant function is Extraverted Feeling. The INFP/ENFJ combination is ideal, because it shares the Sensing way of peceiving, but the INFP/ESFJ combination is also a good match. How did we arrive at this?

INFPs as Parents

"You are the bows from which your children as living arrows are sent forth...
Let your bending in the archer's hand be for gladness;
For even as He loves the arrow that flies,
so He loves also the bow that is stable." -- Kahlil Gibran

INFPs are "natural" parents. They accept and enjoy the parental role, seeing it as the natural extension of their value systems. They make use of the parental role for developing and defining their values further, and consider it their task to pass their values on to their children. They take their role quite seriously. Warm, affirming, and flexible, the INFP generally makes a gentle and easy-going parent in many respects.

INFPs do not like conflict situations, and will keep themselves flexible and diverse to promote a positive, conflict-free environment in their home. The INFP is not naturally prone to dole out punishment or discipline, and so is likely to adapt to their mate's disciplinary policy, or to rely on their mates to administer discipline with the children. In the absence of a mating parent, the INFP will need to make a conscious effort of creating a structure for their children to live within.

Although the INFP dislikes punishing others, they hold strong values and will not tolerate the violation of a strongly-held belief. If they feel that their child has truly committed a wrong, the INFP parent will not have a problem administering discipline. They will directly confront the child, stubbornly digging in their heels and demanding recourse.

The INFP parent is likely to value their children as individuals, and to give them room for growth. They will let the children have their own voice and place in the family.

Extremely loving and devoted parents, INFPs will fiercely protect and support their children. If there is an issue involving "taking sides", you can bet the INFP will always be loyal to their children.

INFPs are usually remembered by their children as loving, patient, devoted, and flexible parents.

INFPs as Friends

INFPs are warm and caring individuals who highly value authenticity and depth in their personal relationships. They are usually quite perceptive about other people's feelings and motives, and are consequently able to get along with all sorts of different people. However, the INFP will keep their true selves reserved from others except for a select few, with whom they will form close and lasting friendships. With their high ideals, they are likely to be drawn to other iNtuitive Feelers for their closer friendships.

With their strong need for harmony and dislike of conflict, INFPs may feel threatened by people with strong Judging and Thinking preferences. Although they're likely to be able to work well professionally with such individuals, they may have difficulty accepting or appreciating them on a personal level. They generally feel a kinship and affinity with other Feeling types.

INFPs will be valued by their confidantes as genuine, altruistic, deep, caring, original individuals.

INFP Personal Growth

What does Success mean to an INFP?

INFPs are creative, sensitive souls who take their lives very seriously. They seek harmony and authenticity in their relationships with others. They value creativity, spirituality, and honoring the individual self above all else. They are very tuned into inequity and unfairness against people, and get great satisfaction from conquering such injustices. An INFP is a perfectionist who will rarely allow themselves to feel successful, although they will be keenly aware of failures. INFPs also get satisfaction from being in touch with their creativity. For the INFP, personal success depends upon the condition of their closest relationships, the development of their creative abilities, and the continual support of humanity by serving people in need, fighting against injustice, or in some other way working to make the world a better place to be.

Allowing Your INFP Strengths to Flourish

As an INFP, you have gifts that are specific to your personality type that aren't natural strengths for other types. By recognizing your special gifts and encouraging their growth and development, you will more readily see your place in the world, and how you can better use your talents to achieve your dreams.

Nearly all INFPs will recognize the following characteristics in themselves. They should embrace and nourish these strengths:

* Highly creative, artistic and spiritual, they can produce wonderful works of art, music and literature. INFPs are natural artists. They will find great satisfaction if they encourage and develop their artistic abilities. That doesn't mean that an INFP has to be a famous writer or painter in order to be content. Simply the act of "creating" will be a fulfilling source of renewal and refreshment to the INFP. An INFP should allow himself or herself some artistic outlet, because it will add enrichment and positive energy to their life.
* They're more spiritually aware than most people, and are more in touch with their soul than others. Most INFPs have strong Faith. Those that don't may feel as if they're missing something important. An INFP should nourish their faith.
* INFPs are very aware of social injustice, and empathize with the underdog. Their empathy for the underdog and hyper-awareness of social injustice makes them extremely compassionate and nurturing towards disadvantaged members of our society. INFPs will feel most useful and fulfilled when they are fighting to help people who have been misfortunate in our society. They may be teachers, ministers, writers, counsellors or psychologists, but they will most likely all spend extra time trying to help people with special problems. An INFP can find a tremendous amount of satisfaction by enacting some kind of social change that will help the underdog.
* They're usually good listeners who genuinely want to hear about someone's problems, and genuinely want to help them. This makes them outstanding counsellors, and good friends. An INFP may find great satisfaction from volunteering as a counselor.
* They accept and value people as individuals, and are strongly egalitarian. They believe that an individual has the right to be themself, without having their attitudes and perspectives brought under scrutiny. Accordingly, they have a great deal of tolerance and acceptance dealing with people who might encounter negative judgment from society in general. They can see something positive in everyone. They believe in individuals. If they give themselves the opportunity, an INFP can become a much-needed source of self-esteem and confidence for people who cannot find it on their own. In this way, they can nurture a "sick soul" back to health.
* Usually deep and intelligent, they're able to grasp difficult concepts with relative ease. They usually do quite well academically, and will find that educating their minds nourishes their need to think deeply.

INFPs who have developed their Extraverted iNtuition to the extent that they can perceive the world about them objectively and quickly will find that they enjoy these very special gifts:

* They will have a great deal of insight into people's characters. They will quickly and thoroughly understand where a person is coming from by assessing their motives and feelings. These well-developed INFP individuals make outstanding psychologists (such as Isabel Briggs Myers herself) and counselors. They might also be great fiction writers, because they're able to develop very complex, real characters.
* They will quickly understand different situations, and quickly grasp new concepts. They will find that they're able to do anything that they put their mind to, although they may not find it personally satisfying. Things may seem to come easily to these INFPs. Although they're able to conquer many different kinds of tasks and situations, these INFPs will be happiest doing something that seems truly important to them. Although they may find that they can achieve the "mainstream" type of success with relative ease, they are not likely to find happiness along that path, unless they are living their lives with authenticity and depth.
* The INFP who augments their strong, internal value system (Introverted Feeling) with a well-developed intuitive way of perceiving the world (Extraverted iNtuition) can be a powerful force for social change. Their intense values and strong empathy for the underprivileged, combined with a reliable and deeply insightful understanding of the world that we live in, creates an individual with the power to make a difference (such as Mother Teresa - an INFP).

Potential Problem Areas

With any gift of strength, there is an associated weakness. Without "bad", there would be no "good". Without "difficult", there would be no "easy". We value our strengths, but we often curse and ignore our weaknesses. To grow as a person and get what we want out of life, we must not only capitalize upon our strengths, but also face our weaknesses and deal with them. That means taking a hard look at our personality type's potential problem areas.

INFPs are rare, intelligent, creative beings with many special gifts. I would like for the INFP to keep in mind some of the many positive things associated with being an INFP as they read some of this more negative material. Also remember that the weaknesses associated with being an INFP are natural to your type. Although it may be depressing to read about your type's weaknesses, please remember that we offer this information to enact positive change. We want people to grow into their own potential, and to live happy and successful lives.

Most of the weaker characteristics that are found in INFPs are due to their dominant Feeling function overshadowing the rest of their personality. When the dominant function of Introverted Feeling overshadows everything else, the INFP can't use Extraverted iNtuition to take in information in a truly objective fashion. In such cases, an INFP may show some or all of the following weaknesses in varying degrees:

* May be extremely sensitive to any kind of criticism
* May perceive criticism where none was intended
* May have skewed or unrealistic ideas about reality
* May be unable to acknowledge or hear anything that goes against their personal ideas and opinions
* May blame their problems on other people, seeing themselves as victims who are treated unfairly
* May have great anger, and show this anger with rash outpourings of bad temper
* May be unaware of appropriate social behavior
* May be oblivious to their personal appearance, or to appropriate dress
* May come across as eccentric, or perhaps even generally strange to others, without being aware of it
* May be unable to see or understand anyone else's point of view
* May value their own opinions and feelings far above others
* May be unaware of how their behavior affects others
* May be oblivious to other people's need
* May feel overwhelmed with tension and stress when someone expresses disagreement with the INFP, or disapproval of the INFP
* May develop strong judgments that are difficult to unseed against people who they perceive have been oppressive or suppressive to them
* Under great stress, may obsess about details that are unimportant to the big picture of things
* Under stress, may obsessively brood over a problem repeatedly
* May have unreasonable expectations of others
* May have difficulty maintaining close relationships, due to unreasonable expectations

Explanation of Problems

Nearly all of the problematic characteristics described above can be attributed in various degrees to the common INFP problem of only taking in data that justifies their personal opinions. INFPs are usually very intense and sensitive people, and feel seriously threatened by criticism. They are likely to treat any point of view other than their own as criticism of their own perspective. If the INFP does not learn how to deal with this perceived criticism, the INFP will begin to shut out the incoming information that causes them pain. This is a natural survivalistic technique for the INFP personality. The main driver to the INFP personality is Introverted Feeling, whose purpose is to maintain and honor an intensely personal system of values and morals. If an INFP's personal value system is threatened by external influences, the INFP shuts out the threatening data in order to preserve and honor their value system. This is totally natural, and works well to protect the individual psyche from getting hurt. However, the INFP who exercises this type of self-protection regularly will become more and more unaware of other people's perspectives, and thus more and more isolated from a real understanding of the world that they live in. They will always find justification for their own inappropriate behaviors, and will always find fault with the external world for problems that they have in their lives. It will be difficult for them to maintain close personal relationships because they will have unreasonable expectations, and will be unable to accept blame.

Its not an uncommon tendency for the INFP to look to the external world primarily for information that will support their ideas and values. However, if this tendency is given free reign, the resulting INFP personality is too self-centered to be happy or successful. Since the INFP's dominant function to their personality is Introverted Feeling, they must balance this with an auxiliary Extraverted iNtuitive function. The INFP takes in information via Extraverted iNtuition. This is also the INFP's primary way of dealing with the external world. If the INFP uses Extraverted iNtuition only to serve the purposes of Introverted Feeling, then the INFP is not using Extraversion effectively at all. As a result, the INFP does not take in enough information about the external world to have a good sense of what's going on. They see nothing but their own perspective, and deal with the world only so far as they need to in order to support their perspective. These individuals usually come across as selfish and unrealistic. Depending on how serious the problem is, they may appear to be anything from "a bit eccentric" to "way out there". Many times other people are unable to understand or relate to these people.

Solutions

To grow as an individual, the INFP needs to focus on opening their perspective to include a more accurate picture of what is really going on in the world. In order to be in a position in which the INFP is able to perceive and consider data that is foreign to their internal value system, the INFP needs to know that its value system is not threatened by the new information. The INFP must consciously tell himself/herself that an opinion that does not concede with their own is not an indictment of their entire character.

The INFP who is concerned with personal growth will pay close attention to their motivation for taking in information. Do they take in information to better understand a situation or concept? Or, do they take in information to support a personal idea or cause? At the moment when something is perceived, is the INFP concerned with twisting that perception to fit in with their personal values? Or is she/he concerned with absorbing the information objectively? To achieve a better understanding of the external world, the INFP should try to perceive information objectively, before fitting it into their value system. They should consciously be aware of their tendency to discard anything that doesn't agree with their values, and work towards lessening this tendency. They should try to see situations from other people's perspectives, without making personal judgments about the situations or the other people's perspectives. In general, they should work on exercising their iNtuition in a truly Extraverted sense. In other words, they should use iNtuition to take in information about the world around them for the sake of understanding the world, rather than take in information to support their own conclusions. The INFP who successfully perceives things objectively may be quite a powerful force for positive change.

Living Happily in our World as an INFP

Some INFPs have difficulty fitting into our society. Their problems are often a result of an unawareness of appropriate social behavior, an unawareness of how they come across to others, or unrealistic expectations of others. Any one of these three issues stem from using Extraverted iNtuition in a diminished manner. An INFP who takes in information for the sake of understanding the world around them, rather than one who takes in information only to support their own ideas, will have a clearer, more objective understanding of how society values social behaviors and attitudes. He or she will also be more aware of how they are perceived by others, and will have more realistic expectations for others' behavior within a relationship. Such well-adjusted INFPs will fit happily into our society.

Unless you really understand Psychological Type and the nuances of the various personality functions, it's a difficult task to suddenly start to use iNtuition in an Extraverted direction. It's difficult to even understand what that means, much less to incorporate that directive into your life. With that in mind, I am providing some specific suggestions that may help you to begin exercising your Extraverted iNtuition more fully:

* Take care to notice what people look like in different social situations. Look at their hair, their skin, their makeup (or lack thereof), their clothes, the condition of their clothes, their shoes, their facial expressions. Don't compare others to your own appearance, or pass judgment on their appearance, simply take in the information.
* Think of a situation in your life in which you weren't sure how to behave. Now try to understand how one or two other people would see the situation. Don't compare their behavior to your own, i.e. "she would know better than me what to do", or "why is it so easy for her, but so hard for me". Rather, try to understand how they would see the situation. Would it be seen as a problem, or as an opportunity? Would it be taken seriously or lightly? Try to determine their point of view without passing judgment or comparing it to your own.
* When having a conversation with a friend or relative, dedicate at least half of your time to talking about the other person. Concentrate on really understanding where that person is coming from with their concerns. Ask questions.
* Think of the people who are closest to you. As you think of each person, tell yourself "this person has their own life going on, and they are more concerned with their own life than they are with mine." Remember that this doesn't mean that they don't care about you. It's the natural order of things. Try to visualize what that person is doing right now. What things are they encountering, what thoughts are they having? Don't pass judgment, or compare their situation to your own.
* Try to identify the personality type of everyone that you come into contact with for any length of time.

Ten Rules to Live By to Achieve INFP Success

1. Feed Your Strengths! Encourage your natural artistic abilities and creativity. Nourish your spirituality. Give yourself opportunities to help the needy or underprivileged.
2. Face Your Weaknesses! Realize and accept that some traits are strengths and some are weaknesses. Facing and dealing with your weaknesses doesn't mean that you have to change who you are, it means that you want to be the best You possible. By facing your weaknesses, you are honoring your true self, rather than attacking yourself.
3. Express Your Feelings. Don't let unexpressed emotions build up inside of you. If you have strong feelings, sort them out and express them, Don't let them build up inside you to the point where they become unmanageable!
4. Listen to Everything. Try not to dismiss anything immediately. Let everything soak in for awhile, then apply judgment.
5. Smile at Criticism. Remember that people will not always agree with you or understand you, even if they value you greatly. Try to see disagreement and criticism as an opportunity for growth. In fact, that is exactly what it is.
6. Be Aware of Others. Remember that there are 15 other personality types out there who see things differently than you see them. Try to identify other people's types. Try to understand their perspectives.
7. Be Accountable for Yourself. Remember that YOU have more control over your life than any other person has.
8. Be Gentle in Your Expectations. You will always be disappointed with others if you expect too much of them. Being disappointed with another person is the best way to drive them away. Treat others with the same gentleness that you would like to be treated with.
9. Assume the Best. Don't distress yourself by assuming the worst. Remember that a positive attitude often creates positive situations.
10. When in Doubt, Ask Questions! Don't assume that the lack of feedback is the same thing as negative feedback. If you need feedback and don't have any, ask for it.

Portrait of an IFP Child
(Introverted Feeling Perceiving)

IFP Traits

1. Very idealistic
2. Take things seriously and personally
3. Quiet and gentle
4. Extremely sensitive
5. Shy and reserved with strangers
6. Enjoy reading
7. Service-oriented, they want to please others
8. They love animals and small babies
9. Likely to be messy and unstructured
10. They need lots of love and affection

Potential Strengths

1. Deeply caring and empathic
2. They're usually very kind and sweet
3. Laidback and easygoing, they're not likely to create trouble
4. They adapt well to new situations, and welcome change
5. They're usually relaxed, peaceful and unrushed
6. Usually extremely creative and artistic
7. They are original and genuine
8. Take things seriously, and aren't likely to be frivolous
9. They need harmony, and can be good peacemakers
10. They're faithful and devoted to people and causes
11. They're often quite faithful to their religion

Potential Weaknesses

1. They're extremely sensitive and become hurt very easily
2. They cannot use logic well at a young age
3. They don't really have a concept of time or schedules, so they are frequently late
4. May be reckless and irresponsible with money
5. Tendency to let negative thoughts build up inside them until it becomes an unhealthy situation
6. They cannot see things objectively - they see everything from their own point of view
7. If they feel rejected or unloved, they may become very depressed and moody
8. They are procrastinators and have trouble completing projects
9. They are so internally focused that they are sometimes completely unaware of how anyone else is feeling
10. They have difficulty expressing their deepest feelings, and are sometimes unaware of these feelings themselves
11. Although they care deeply about others, they are self-absorbed and so may be seen as selfish
12. They cannot take any kind of criticism, and will become defensive and emotional when criticised
13. They don't like to make decisions, and will put it off as long as possible
14. They often view decisions with absolute finality, and don't realize that they can change their mind later
15. They naturally move slowly doing things, which makes them sometimes appear lazy
16. They have trouble asserting themselves

IFP Learning Style
IFPs often are dreamy and imaginative children, and may seem to be off in their own world. They usually excel in the Humanities, such as English (Writing), Music, Art, and History. They will be interested in Science classes that have a clear human connection, such as Biology.

IFPs will resist doing tasks that seem impersonal, for which they can't see how it affects the human element. Presenting sheerly logical tasks within the framework of how performing the task helps humans will help the IFP face the task more willingly. Logic is still not their strong point, so patience learning these kinds of tasks will have to be shown. Since they're not naturally logical and they don't naturally see the value of sheer logic, the IFP is at a disadvantage with these kinds of lessons.

IFPs have trouble making decisions about which project they want to do, or which class they want to take, etc. They are often fearful of making decisions because they think that they are final and unalterable, and they're afraid of making the wrong choice. IFP children should be helped to make these kinds of decisions on their own, and they should be supported and encouraged in the decisions that they make. Positive reinforcement will help the IFP to trust their decision-making abilities.

IFP children have trouble following through on projects. They may lose interest halfway through, and move onto the next exciting project. IFP children need to learn the value of finishing what they start. They will not finish all of their projects, but they can be expected to finish at least the larger, more important projects that they have begun. This should be encouraged with a reward system, rather than a punishment system. IFPs are often crushed by punishment and criticism.

IFP children are frequently scattered in their priorities, and dislike making decisions or commiting themselves to one particular idea. To combat this tendency, teachers and other adults should frequently tell IFP children to "pick one thing and do it well". Engraining this idea in the IFP's mind will offer a significant gift to the developing IFP, and the adult that they will become.

When giving constructive criticism or a poor grade to an IFP, also give some positive feedback so that the IFP is not frightened off from doing that type of task again in the future.

IFP Special Needs
The biggest stumbling block for IFP children (and for IFP adults) is their extreme sensitivity. IFP kids need to learn and understand that conflict is not something they should always take to heart. The IFP's opinion of himself or herself is largely influenced by other people's opinion of them. If the IFP feel unconditional love and acceptance, they are more likely to feel self-confident, and will be able to handle some criticism. However, IFP's will probably have a lifelong issue with feeling things passionately, and with taking any criticism completely to heart. When correcting an IFP, a parent should always include some positive comment about the IFP along with the negative. This will help the child to know that a specific criticism is not an indictment of their entire character.

Their strong service-oriented attitide is in some ways very sweet and gratifying, but it also can create problems for the IFP child if they are more interested in pleasing people than in anything else. There will be situations presented to the child in which they will not be able to please everyone. The child needs to understand that it's sometimes OK to do something that might make someone else unhappy. They need to understand that if someone is unhappy with something that the IFP has done, that doesn't mean that they hate the IFP child. Avoiding making others upset or unhappy is an admirable goal, but it can't always be done.

Parents and teachers of IFP kids should give positive feedback and affirmation as often as possible. Some Thinking adults often don't express love or admiration. They believe that their kids already know how they feel, so there's no need to say it over and over again. Feeling children need to hear this feedback. If an adult doesn't give them any feedback at all, this is often equal to negative feedback in the Feeling child's mind.

IFP kids should be encouraged to show some healthy assertiveness. They should be told that it's OK to express their opinions even if everyone won't agree with them, or if their opinions make someone unhappy. Encouraging your child to express their opinion, and then supporting and complimenting their behavior will help them to become more assertive. If you can't agree with the actual opinnion that they express, at least you can compliment them on the fact that they are asserting themselves. If your child has a problem with asserting himself or herself, you should NOT criticize the opinions that they express until they show that they are comfortable with asserting themselves.

The "Missing" Letter
Adult personality types contain four letters, while for kids aged 7-12 we use three letter types. What happened to the missing letter? It's there, we just can't usually determine what it is until after a person is 13 years old. IFP kids will grow up to be either ISFP "Artists" or INFP "Idealists". At this stage in their development, it's not obvious whether they will choose Intuition or Sensing to complement their Feeling function. You will see the child practicing both Intuition and Sensing as they settle down into their preferred function. In some children, it's possible to distinguish their "missing" letter, but for many kids we just have to wait a few years to be sure.

INFP - The Dreamer

Profile by Sandra Krebs Hirsch and Jean Kummerow

INFPs focus deeply on their values, and they devote their lives to pursuing the ideal. They often draw people together around a common purpose and work to find a place for each person within the group. They are creative, and they seek new ideas and possibilities. They quietly push for what is important to them, and they rarely give up. While they have a gentleness about them and a delightful sense of humor, they may be somewhat difficult to get to know and may be overlooked by others. They are at their best making their world more in line with their internal vision of perfection.



Living

INFP children often create their own fantasy world and live very much within it. They may daydream about what is important to them, and sometimes others wonder if they are in touch with reality. They often get lost in their thoughts and books, and may develop a special ability in communicating, such as writing. They are somewhat reserved, especially in new situations.

INFPs decide early on what is important for them, what is of value. They tend to rely on themselves for direction and are reticent to ask others for help. They would rather do things themselves, to make sure they are done properly. INFPs have found this to be both a strength and a curse. Depending only on themselves and being careful not to show mistakes to others is important. As teens, INFPs may have a bit of a rebellious streak. They may argue with those who hold different values than they do. They are also likely to have a small, close set of friends with whom they share good times. In the comfort of those close relationships, they can relax and are often quite entertaining, since they see the world in a different and special way. Their sense of humour is readily apparent. However, unless an INFP finds an appreciation for his or her uniqueness and personal values, he or she may feel like an odd person out.

When they set their minds on things, INFPs are not likely to give up easily, yet because of their outward gentleness, they do not show their determination. They may not take a direct path, but somehow they reach their dreams.

As young adults, INFPs may have some difficulty finding the ideal career and the ideal mate, in part because of that very word 'ideal'. They have a vision in mind of what they want, yet reality may not follow suit. They may make several starts and stops in their career until they find a comfortable place for themselves.

INFPs have a need for perfection in connection with their personal values. They become frustrated with those who dwell on trivialities.

INFPs need a purpose beyond the paycheck. They become burned out easily if their job does not fit their value system; they may not feel good enough about what they have achieved and, as a result, may undervalue themselves and their contributions.

In retirement, INFPs need to look back and feel that they have led a worthwhile life that has made a difference. They want time for a variety of activities, including travel. They may also be very attached to their family and enjoy special visits with them.



Learning

INFPs learn best in flexible situations where they know the teacher takes a personal interest in them. They like to be able to interact with their peers, but not too much so. They want to feel free to dig into subjects that are of interest to them. Having both flexibility and creativity rewarded is encouraging to them. While they may not enjoy deadlines, if they value the assignment, they will meet those deadlines. Deadlines may force INFPs to decide that their work is 'good enough' to turn in.

Subjects that hold a great deal of interest for them are learned readily. They will often do extra work in their attempt to learn as much as possible about something of interest. And they often read assignments carefully and them work their creativity into the given framework of the assignment. Thus it may appear that they did not pay careful attention to the details of the assignment in their reinterpretation. It is best if they have teachers who appreciate their unique approach and who do not hold them to the letter of the law.



Working

At work, INFPs contribute their creativity, their value system, and their ability to work with others. They are able to see the larger picture and how specific programs fit in. They do not dwell on the trivialities or the details. Their job must be fun, although not racous, and it must be meaningful to them. They need a strong purpose in their work. They want to be recognized and valued, without undue attention given to them. They may become embarrassed when make the center of attention. As a result, they may undersell their strengths in order to avoid being singled out and made to feel conspicuous. They would rather have their worth be noticed gradually over time.

INFPs like to work with cooperative people committed to the same values that they are. They can become bothered when they see others working at cross purposes, especially when conflict is overt. They do not like competition or bureaucracy. They need privacy. Calm and quiet appeal to them, as does time and space for reflection. People usually like working with INFPs even though they may not know them well.

INFPs are quite disorganized. But when tasks at hand are important and best done in an organized way, INFPs strive to do so. Practicality is not a driving force for INFPs. Things that traditionally belong together may not be placed together because the INFP does not see it as necessary. They have trouble finishing what they start because of their perfectionistic nature. When they do finish a project, they may not consider it done 'for good.' Projects can always be improved upon, revised, and reworked, and therefore INFPs find it hard to bring tasks to closure. Because they are able to visualize the finished product long before it is done, the actual completion is of less importance.

INFPs prefer occupations in which they can be involved in making the world better. Having their heart in their work is important to them. These occupations also allow for an element of creativity and flexibility. INFPs are particularly interested to be counselor, editor, education consultant, English teacher, fine arts teacher, journalist, psychologist, religious educator, social scientist, social worker, teacher, writer, and other occupations that engage their values.



Leading

The INFP leadership style is subtle, gentle, indirect, and inclusive of others. INFPs do not confront people head-on, but rather work with them and through them to get the job done. Their style is not an aggressive one but is highly persistent; only reluctantly do INFPs assume leadership roles.

They lead with their values in mind, and these guide them. They prefer not to take a hands-on approach with others but to allow them to achieve in independent ways. They are facilitative rather than directive. They encourage others by appreciation and praise. Critiquing others does not come easily to them.

INFPs seldom confront situations directly, in part because they do not like conflict. Whenever possible, they would rather wait for a situation to work itself out, since they trust that people will work things through. They do not like following all the rules and regulations, but they are not overtly rebellious. They seek to get things done in their own style.



Leisure

Leisure activities are very important to INFPs, but at times it is difficult for them to separate work from play. When a new leisure pursuit is found, INFPs typically do a great deal of research. They may read many books and make several phone calls to dig for information.

Many of the INFPs' leisure activities are done alone --- reading, listening to music, and gardening are some activities likely to appeal to them. Reflection time and the opportunity to make sure things are right are important. INFPs often enjoy leisure pursuits with loved ones as well. When they want to be sociable, they can be exceedingly charming and outgoing. Their flexibility, gentleness, and sense of humour can make them quite popular in social situations.



Loving

For the INFP, love is a very deep commitment, and one that is not easily attained. They have ideals, and therefore reality may be carefully scrutinized.

With their ideal firmly envisioned, the first date with that special person is carefully planned and prepared for, and often every aesthetic thing is taken care of. The flowers are in place, the right wine is ordered, and the proper meal is prepared.

INFPs may have difficulty sharing their feelings about others. They keep so many of those feelings inside that they may forget to tell their partner how much they love and appreciate them. They also need reminders of their partner's love.

When things go wrong in a relationship, the INFP takes it to heart but does not readily discuss it with others. They may not be willing to communicate to let others know how they are feeling. When scorned, they are very hurt and may overreact in an almost maudlin way.

Profile by David Keirsey

INFPs present a calm, pleasant face to the world and are seen as reticent and even shy. Although they demonstrate a cool reserve toward others, inside they are anything but distant. They have a capacity for caring which is not always found in other types. They care deeply-indeed, passionately-about a few special persons or a cause. One word that captures this type is idealistic. At times, this characteristic leaves them feeling isolated, especially since INFPs are found in only 1 percent of the general population. INFPs have a profound sense of honor derived from internal values. The INFP is the Prince or Princess of mythology, the King's Champion, Defender of the Faith, and guardian of the castle. Sir Galahad and Joan of Arc are male and female prototypes of an INFP. To understand INFPs their cause must be understood, for they are willing to make unusual sacrifices for someone or something believed in.

INFPs seek unity in their lives, unity of body and mind, emotions and intellect. They often have a subtle tragic motif running through their lives, but others seldom detect this inner minor key. The deep commitment of INFPs to the positive and the good causes them to be alert to the negative and the evil, which can take the form of a fascination with the profane. Thus INFPs may live a paradox, drawn toward purity and unity but looking over the shoulder toward the sullied and desecrated. When INFPs believe that they have yielded to an impure temptation, they may be given to acts of self-sacrifice in atonement. The atonement, however, is within the INFP, who does not feel compelled to make public the issue.

INFPs prefer the valuing process over the purely logical. They respond to the beautiful versus the ugly, the good versus the bad, and the moral versus the immoral. Impressions are gained in a fluid, global, diffused way. Metaphors and similes come naturally but may be strained. INFPs have a gift for interpreting symbols, as well as creating them, and thus often write in lyric fashion. They may demonstrate a tendency to take deliberate liberties with logic. Unlike the NT, they see logic as something optional. INFPs also may, at times, assume an unwarranted familiarity with a domain, because their global, impressionistic way of dealing with reality may have failed to register a sufficient number of details for mastery. INFPs may have difficulty thinking in terms of a conditional framework; they see things as either real or fancied, and are impatient with the hypothetical.



Career

At work, INFPs are adaptable, welcome new ideas and new information, are well aware of people and their feelings, and relate well to most, albeit with some psychological distance. INFPs dislike telephone interruptions and work well alone, as well as with others. They are patient with complicated situations, but impatient with routine details. They can make errors of fact, but seldom of values. Their career choices may be toward the ministry, missionary work, college teaching, psychiatry, architecture, psychology-and away from business. They seem willing and usually are able to apply themselves scholastically to gain the necessary training for professional work, often doing better in college than in high school. They have a natural interest in scholarly activities and demonstrate, as do the other NF's, a remarkable facility for languages. Often they hear a calling to go forth into the world to help others; they seem willing to make the necessary personal sacrifices involved in responding to that call, even if it means asking others to do likewise. INFPs can make outstanding novelists and character actors, for they are able to efface their own personalities in their portrayal of a character in a way other types cannot.



Home

As mates, INFPs have a deep commitment to their pledges. They like to live in harmony and may go to great lengths to avoid constant conflict. They are sensitive to the feelings of others and enjoy pleasing those they care for. They may find it difficult to reconcile a romantic, idealized concept of conjugal life with the realities of everyday living with another person. At times, in fact, INFPs may seem fearful of exuberant attainment, afraid that current advances may have to be paid for with later sacrifices. The devil is sure to get his due if the INFP experiences too freely of success, or beauty, or health, or wealth, or knowledge. And thus, INFPs guard against giving way to relaxing in the happiness of mating. They may have difficulty in expressing affection directly, but communicate interest and affection indirectly.

For INFPs, their home is their castle. As parents, they are fierce in protection of home and family and are devoted to the welfare of family members. They have a strong capacity for devotion, sympathy, and adaptability in their relationships, and thus are easy to live with. They are loyal to their family and, although they may dream of greener pastures, if they stray into those pastures they soon locate the nettles. The almost preconscious conviction that pleasure must be paid for with pain can cause a sense of uneasiness in the family system of an INFP, who may transmit an air of being ever-vigilant against invasion. In the routine rituals of daily living, INFPs tend to be compliant and may even prefer having decisions made on their behalf, until their value system is violated! Then INFPs dig in their heels and will not budge from ideals. Life with an INFP will go gently along for long periods, until an ideal is struck and violated. Then an INFP will resist and insist.



Midlife

At midlife INFPs may want to increase mastery of intellectual interests, perhaps taking advanced degrees in a chosen profession. They also may want to explore the sensual side of their natures, expanding their aesthetic appreciations to include physical sensory appreciations. Extending social activities and contacts may offer new horizons for INFPs, but they will have to guard against overextension psychologically, for before, during, and after midlife the vulnerability and sensitivity of the INFP will continue, and he or she can easily become emotionally drained.



Mates

The INFP questor probably has more problems in mating than any other type. Let us be mindful of the relative infrequency: about 1 1/4 percent, say two and a half million people in the USA. Their problem lies in their primary outlook on life. "Life," says the INFP, "is a very serious matter." Now when a person makes his life a kind of crusade or a series of crusades, then there's bound to be some taxing of the spouse. If the INFP takes the other tack, the "monastic" (and the same person can tack back and forth-now a crusader, now a monastic), the spouse will find himself again taxed, trying to draw the monastic out of his dark meditative cave.

The opposites of our crusading monastic seem well equipped for this alternating-phase taxation: ENTJ and ESTJ. Both are anchored in the real world with a vengeance. The ENTJ marshaling his or her forces toward distant objectives, the ESTJ administrating in a solid, dependable, and traditional way whatever is his or hers to administer. Both provide anchorage to a person who might otherwise get lost in meditation or in crusade. Selection of a mate of irrelevant form (e.g., an ISTP artisan or an ESTP promoter) would not be the wisest of tactics in so serious a business as life.

INFP Introverted Intuition with Feeling

People with INFP preferences have a great deal of warmth, but may not show it until they know a person well. They keep their warm side inside, like a fur-lined coat. They are very faithful to duties and obligations related to ideas or people they care about. They take a very personal approach to life, judging everything by their inner ideals and personal values.

They stick to their ideals with passionate conviction. Although their inner loyalties and ideals govern their lives, they find these hard to talk about. Although their inner loyalties and ideals govern their lives, they find these hard to talk about. Their deepest feelings are seldom expressed; their inner tenderness is masked by a quiet reserve.

In everyday matters they are tolerant, open-minded, understanding, flexible, and adaptable. But if their inner loyalties are threatened, they will not give an inch. Except for their work's sake, INFP have little wish to impress or dominate. The people they prize the most are those who take the time to understand their values and the goals they are working toward.

Their main interest lies in seeing the possibilities beyond what is present, obvious, or known. They are twice as good when working at a job they believe in, since their feeling puts added energy behind their efforts. They want their work to contribute to something that matters to them--human understanding, happiness, or health. They want to have a purpose beyond their paycheck, no matter how big the check. They are perfectionists whenever they care deeply about something.

INFPs are curious about new ideas and tend to have insight and long-range vision. Many are interested in books and language and are likely to have a gift of expression; with talent they may be excellent writers. They can be ingenious and persuasive on the subject of their enthusiasms, which are quiet but deep-rooted. They are often attracted to counseling, teaching, literature, art, science, or psychology.

The problem for some INFPs is that they may feel such a contrast between their ideals and their actual accomplishments that they burden themselves with a sense of inadequacy. This can happen even when, objectively, they are being as effective as others. It is important for them to use their intuition to find ways to express their ideals; otherwise they will keep dreaming of the impossible and accomplish very little. If they find no channel for expressing their ideals, INFPs may become overly sensitive and vulnerable, with dwindling confidence in life and themselves.

INFP

Performing Noble Service to Aid Society

If there is a single word that defines this type, it is idealist. As Introverted Feelers, they discover their ideals through a subjective interpretation of the world, and put those ideals to use to help others in a variety of ways. They are often the "Joans (or Johns) of Arc" who seek fulfillment through performing noble service to aid society.

INFPs have their own self-imposed "codes" for life, and while they have little need to share or impose them on others, they can be very strict with themselves about following these regimens. But in general, INFPs tend to be easygoing and congenial. They would prefer to "fit in" harmoniously rather than to create waves--as long as they can do so without violating their ideals. Yet when others do trample on INFPs' codes, INFPs can become very demanding and extremely aggressive, often to the surprise of both themselves and others. This tendency may be best illustrated by the mother who feels her child has been treated unjustly by his or her school. The normally quiet INFP mother leaves no stone unturned in full pursuit of rectifying the injustice and creating a better environment--not only for her child but for others, who will also benefit from the change.

Male INFPs can be seen by others, particularly macho traditionalists, as too gentle, even wimpy. The INFPs' generally passive, live-and-let-live exterior, however admirable, may lack the take-charge quality often associated with maleness--until they feel that their value system is threatened, that is. Then, the easygoing ways (of male and female INFPs alike can give way to harsh rigidity. For staff, friends, and mates who don't understand this characteristic, the INFP can seem, at best, a souce of mixed signals--pliant one moment, rigid the next--and, at worst, a deep, complex, even somewhat melancholy person who is hard to understand. WHen a male INFP marries an Extravert, society may view his mate as domineering and demanding. In actuality, for the marriage to succeed, the mate must quickly learn the limits of her mandate to take charge.

These very same qualities in an INFP female are more socially acceptable, even admired. While the INFP male's quiet stubbornness can make him seem simultaneously unforceful yet rigid, the INFP female may be respected for her inner strength. Her determination conveys power and makes others feel secure.

INFPs resist being labeled and are often driven to do things shake the way others view them. This can on occasion lead INFPs to be unpredictable, even outrageous. A docile INFP we know was invited to a staff costume party where guests were instructed to dress as "who you really are." She came as Madonna, the eccentric eighties rock singer, bedecked in jewelry and silky clothing. Her colleagues were shocked by her display--but she wasn't.

Like all Intuitive-Feelers, the INFP strives for self-identity, self-knowledge, and self-definition. "Who am I?" is an all-important question. More so than all other NFs, however, the INFPs find in their preferences further material and inspiration for this never-ending quest. Their Introversion fosters inward reflection, their Intuition ensures an endlessly ramifying sense of the possibilities inherent in the self, their Feeling guides them to reflect on how such potential could benefit both themselves and their relations with others, and their Perceiving keeps them open to a constant flow of new data. It's not unusual for an INFP to get out of bed reflecting (Introversion), "Who am I and where's my life going today?" There may be a number of possible answers (Intuition)--"I'm a father," "I'm a mate," "I'm a teacher," and the like--as well as a consideration of how those attributes might be deployed in the service of self and others (Feeling). Deciding these are all interesting issues to contemplate, the INFP may then, in the search for more information (Perceiving), set off for school or work, there to start the process again. Even if these questions are not consciously raised, the identity issues are always percolating. The INFP's reflective, open-ended approach to life produces far more questions than answers.

The INFP's home and work areas may be rife with little piles of "to-do's"--reading, ironing, artwork, writing. These things will always be there. In fact, they will increase as the INFP's interests and concerns grow throughout life. It's helpful for INFPs to learn to live with this rather than punish themselves for seeming "failures." In general, home and family relationships are more relaxed than rigid; schedules are always subject to change because of others' immediate needs. Neatness often takes a backseat to interpersonal warmth and affirmation, except when company is expected in which case perfection is the name of the game in the desire to serve others. INFPs prefer to give in to others rather than to argue points that may lead to disharmony. Still, all of this may fly out the window if an INFP's "codes" are "violated," and then a relaxed home gives way to strict rules and schedules.

The same dynamic applies to parenting. An INFP parent may focus on a few carefully cultivated values. If these are respected, the INFP parent is typically easygoing and quick to meet a child's needs. In general, the INFP parent is positive and affirming and a child will find in that parenting a friend in whom they can confide. If there are parenting weaknesses, they are probably related to INFP's first preference, Introversion: INFPs may be slow to give overt, positive strokes, not because they don't feel approval, but because they find it difficult to express; and to their last preference, Perceiving, which may cause them to avoid providing the structure and organization that a child may need.

Introversion may also plague INFP's relationships: they may feel far more love and warmth than they are able to express. In any relationship involving INFPs, there will be growth, affirmation, and self-fulfillment for both of the parties involved, but sometimes the combination of the Introversion and Feeling preferences causes them to avoid discussing issues that they fear may cause disagreement. For example, an INFP may, after much inner debate, conclude that some kind of change is necessary, and may then spring this conclusion on an unprepared partner. Thus, the INFP's decision to quit a job and go to graduate school (or convince the mate to do so) may be presented as a fait accompli, not a subject open for discussion, and the unsuspecting mate may be shocked into a new view of their relationship when a formerly pliant INFP shows new drive, determination, and rigidity, far out of proportion to the issue involved.

This INFP complexity--an easygoing exterior masking a compulsive interior--may make for inner stress. The result can be a variety of serious health problems; ileitis, colitis, and other stomach or intestinal problems. They may be particularly prone to such ailments when the needs of others prevent them from being able to relax and enjoy themselves. INFPs can easily make martyrs of themselves.

As children, INFPs' deceptively easygoing natures may cause others to take them for granted. INFP children have a high need to please parents--and be stroked for it. Generally, they are tender and sensitive to the world around them, and like their INFP elders, often give in to others at the expense of their own needs. If such self-sacrifice is not appreciated or, even worse, is criticized, the child can become sullen, self-critical, often overpersonalizing each remark. The potential for martyrdom begins early; INFP children can spend a disproportionate amount of time daydreaming and preoccupied with inner thoughts. They are often good students and expend a lot of energy pleasing their teachers. They tend to do well in high school, and often excel in college. To please others, they may take courses they do not like--and even succeed in them. The potential for self-doubt and self-criticism, however, is always close to the surface. Even when told they have done a "good job," INFPs know the only true judge is themselves, and may punish themselves for work they consider less than perfect.

In general, while INFPs love to learn, grow, excel, and please others, they are always their own worst critics; they often remind themselves that they could have done better. It is a life-long struggle between self-approbation and self-depreciation. In the end, INFPs almost always tend to sell themselves short.

Family events for an INFP are expressions of the essentials of life, and a lot of energy can be directed to celebrating such family rituals as birthdays, anniversaries, or graduations. Loyalty and service to the family can keep an INFP a "child" at any age and always close--psychologically, if not physically--to parents and family.

The values that shape INFPs' family life and personal growth patterns highlight their career choices: integrity, hard work, idealism, sensitivity, and concern for other people. INFPs also bring their self-criticism and perfectionism to the workplace, which can sometimes hamper their personal skills. An INFP may be an excellent musician or a superb teacher, but even if showered with accolades, INFPs may never quite be satisfied. Their high learning abilities may lead them to careers in which they succeed academically but which they are typologically somewhat miscast. The daughter of an engineer may pursue that career to please her father--and find it academically very attainable and challenging--although as an NFP, she may find the work of engineering foreign, even hostile, turf.

Those careers that involve human service are the ultimate home of the INFP: psychology, teaching, family medicine, and church work, for example. In the long haul, what INFPs choose as a career must serve their own idealism. If it doesn't, they can become restless and stressed and their work can become sloppy and counterproductive.

Retirement tends to be relished by INFPs because the little piles of to-dos they have been amassing for years can be rearranged, pondered, and finally tackled. They tend not to "slow down" in later life, approaching their postcareer hobbies with the same intensity they once reserved for children and careers. They may approach retirement with a particular joy if it allows them to leave a traditional career or job that imposed the kind of structure and rigidity that INFPs resist. Still appearing externally relaxed, they tend to continue to be internally driven by a call to serve humanity--in the form of children, grandchildren, organizations, causes, or any other local or world issues.

Abraham Lincoln quite possibly personifies the INFP. As a young man, seeing slaves loaded into a boat, he took the cause of freedom into his heart, ultimately imposing his crusade on the entire nation. Isabel Briggs Myers, another INFP, carried on her mission--that people learn how to use their personality differences more constructively and creatively--throughout her entire life. From age twenty to eighty, she endlessly created, researched, and refined the Myers-Briggs Type Indicator. Carl Rogers, one of the pillars of American modern psychology, saw the need for a therapeutic model that enhanced individual self-development--itself, an INFP cause--and spent his life developing nondirective counseling.

Summary - INFP

Contributions to the Organization

*Work to find a place for each person in the organization
*Are persuasive about their ideals
*Draw people together around a common purpose
*Seek new ideas and possibilities for the organization
*Quietly push for organizational values

Leadership Style

*Take a facilitative approach
*Prefer unique leadership roles rather than conventional ones
*Work independently toward their visions
*Are more likely to praise than to critique others
*Encourage others to act on their ideals

Preferred Work Environment

*Contains pleasant and committed people focused on values of importance to others
*Cooperative atmosphere
*Allows privacy
*Flexible
*Unbureaucratic
*Calm and quiet
*Allows time and space for reflection

Potential Pitfalls

*May delay completion of tasks because of perfectionism
*May try to please too many people at the same time
*May not adjust their vision to the facts and logic of the situation
*May spend more time in reflection than in action

Suggestions for Development

*May need to learn to work with reality rather than seeking the perfect response
*May need to develop more tough-mindedness and a willingness to say "no"
*May need to factor in facts and logic along with their personal values
*May need to develop and implement action plans

Order of Mental Preferences

1.Feeling
2.Intuition
3.Sensing
4.Thinking

INFP
From Conversations with
Harmonizer Clarifiers

The following is adapted from Linda V. Berens and Dario Nardi, The 16 Personality Types: Descriptions for Self-Discovery (Telos Publications, 1999) *Used with permission.

What’s it like to be you?
I have a very internal focus. I think I look at myself through other people’s eyes, but sometimes I can lose touch with how things work for me. Then I can get introspective, going very deep and staying there, not coming out too quickly or easily. Somehow I find it very difficult to put into words and communicate the things that really matter to me. Most people don’t have the foggiest notion about what goes on with me.

I like harmony and seek consensus and do well with the deep issues. My values and the things that are important to me often feel outside the mainstream in the sense that I feel impinged upon and uncomfortable with so much of what goes on. I’m too private to push my values on to other people, but I am convinced that one ought to be congruent in their own life if they are going to expect congruence from others. In a sense I hold other people to that standard, and I worry about my own incongruities, inconsistencies, and contradictions. Groups can be hard. I can put myself in the group process so rapidly and so completely, and it’s important not to get sucked in. I need to be predictable about what I believe.

I am a global thinker and I like to learn interactively. My thoughts need to be connected with some person or value. On reflection, don’t all thoughts have to be connected to something? I feed new information into other things I’ve read and my thoughts, and I can have a marvelous time just sitting with ideas. And I like to discuss or write things because I seem to have a lot in my head and I’ve got to get it out. I love bringing together different eclectic ideas and seeing what’s similar. I like to have my own ideas, hear others ideas, and have ideas challenged, bantering back and forth. Chitchat has no interest for me. I tend to do a lot of mental rehearsal and play in problem solving, and the fun part is figuring out how to do something. Motivation comes when something has real meaning or value for me, and while I enjoy ideas I don’t like having my values challenged.

For me, asking questions is just a different form of being quiet, a way to explore an inner thought stream or check out of reality and back into my thoughts. Sometimes I chuckle at myself that there is really no sequential way that I work though tasks.

I have always trusted my intuition, even before I was aware of it. I enjoy talking to people. It’s interesting to learn about them, where they’re coming from and how they invent their reality. And I have an innate talent for reading between the lines—to hear what hasn’t been said—and a sense of what needs to be said and done. I tend to form impressions right away about people, and most of the time I feel pretty good about my impressions but sometimes I am way off. At least if the people have good intentions, I can relax.

I enjoy seeing people enjoy who they are, and I get a lot of joy helping others discover that they have value. Being able to help someone in their darkest hour, to communicate across differences and find common ways of working together, that is very satisfying because then there is a real sense of closeness and acceptance and a genuine pursuit of helping people heal and achieve their goals. I hold on to relationships even though we may go long periods without seeing each other, and I cherish those long associations.

I’m concerned about how others feel when they are around me. Lack of honesty or ethics or integrity in interactions—when someone is saying one thing but doing another—really puts me off. So does when someone doesn’t honor, or accept as valid, my communication or feeling as I try to talk to them about something that matters to me. And I don’t need to talk about myself. I don’t enjoy it. Sometimes I’m frustrated trying to communicate, and sometimes a metaphor or a joke or a story is a way to effectively express myself so what I’m saying can be heard by someone who hears or experiences things differently.

I don’t know what I am going to do next, but I trust in myself that something will come in as a new idea, with challenge and inner meaning. Whatever it is, it will be right. Although I would never actually say it, it feels as though I am grounded in the very being of who I am when I talk like this.

INFP
On A Team

The following is adapted from Linda V. Berens, Linda K. Ernst and Melissa Smith, Quick Guide to the 16 Personality Types and Teams (Telos Publications, 2005) *Used with permission.

How INFPs Build Relationships
For them, team relationships are about making space for others to participate fully. They like to help others accept themselves and believe in themselves. They have a talent for reading between the lines, hearing what hasn’t been said, and getting a sense of what needs to be said and done. They want others to have a sense of purpose and ethics and to be congruent with these in their behavior. Knowing people’s intentions helps them feel comfortable with their relationships on the team. They honor and accept as valid the communication or feeling teammates express when sharing something that is important to them—and expect others to do the same. They often relate through stories and metaphors, bridging differences by emphasizing and building on similarities and providing gentle encouragement. Sharing beliefs is important to them, yet it is sometimes difficult for them to put into words the things that really matter to them. They tend to do a lot of mental rehearsal in problem solving so may appear quiet and withdrawn in team meetings.

How INFPs Deal with Conflict
Their first response to conflict is usually to wait and see what is involved. Then they will go with the flow of what is happening, working to bring out all sides of an issue and resolve deeper issues that are likely at the root of the conflict. The worst kind of conflict to them occurs when their values are challenged as not worthy or when they feel a sense of betrayal. They want people, themselves included, to be listened to with respect and openness.

To Forge Better Relationships with INFPs…
Provide a team environment that holds a sense of integrity and opportunities for fostering wholeness, harmony, mental health, and growth in others. Be sure to validate and affirm them as individuals. Give them the flexibility to capitalize on bursts of energy and not be berated for the lulls in between. Recognize the value in their impressions rather than force them to be explicit. Let them work alone as they need to, yet provide them with opportunities to meaningfully connect with others. Most of all, help them find personal meaning in the team project.

How INFPs Approach Doing Work
They have a tendency to go with the flow until they have enough information to integrate into a complete picture. They like to play with a lot of ideas. If they get a sense that things are not going in the right direction, they will make suggestions to try to turn the situation around. Their usually gentle informing style is amazingly powerful. When they are dedicated to a purpose, they can be tireless in their search for supporting information and data.

How INFPs Make Decisions
They tend to make fast decisions about whether something or someone is congruent or not but may decide slowly about what actions to take and what direction to pursue. They want to be sure they’ve got all the information, and then once they get a clear sense that important values are not violated and actions will be congruent with those values, then they act quickly. Inaction may result if personal values conflict with the external demands for action or if many differing values have to be reconciled and unified in one decision.

How INFPs Respond to Change
When change is necessary, they tend to hold tight to a kind of artistic control, checking for congruity with values. They are open to change when they have some creative input into the process and they feel the change will increase the likelihood of an even higher quality outcome. They will want to be sure everyone’s voice is heard and consensus is reached wherever possible.

Introverted iNtuitive Feeling Perceiving
by Joe Butt

Profile: INFP
Revision: 3.0
Date of Revision: 26 Feb 2005

"I remember the first albatross I ever saw. ... At intervals, it arched forth its vast archangel wings, as if to embrace some holy ark. Wondrous flutterings and throbbings shook it. Though bodily unharmed, it uttered cries, as some king's ghost in super natural distress. Through its inexpressible, strange eyes, methought I peeped to secrets not below the heavens. As Abraham before the angels, I bowed myself..." --(Herman Melville, Moby Dick)

INFPs never seem to lose their sense of wonder. One might say they see life through rose-colored glasses. It's as though they live at the edge of a looking-glass world where mundane objects come to life, where flora and fauna take on near-human qualities.

INFP children often exhibit this in a 'Calvin and Hobbes' fashion, switching from reality to fantasy and back again. With few exceptions, it is the NF child who readily develops imaginary playmates (as with Anne of Green Gables's "bookcase girlfriend"--her own reflection) and whose stuffed animals come to life like the Velveteen Rabbit and the Skin Horse:

"...Generally, by the time you are Real, most of your hair has been loved off, and your eyes drop out and you get loose in the joints and very shabby. But these things don't matter at all, because once you are Real you can't be ugly, except to people who don't understand..." (the Skin Horse)

INFPs have the ability to see good in almost anyone or anything. Even for the most unlovable the INFP is wont to have pity.

Rest you, my enemy,
Slain without fault,
Life smacks but tastelessly
Lacking your salt!
Stuck in a bog whence naught
May catapult me,
Come from the grave, long-sought,
Come and insult me!
--(Steven Vincent Benet, Elegy for an Enemy)

Their extreme depth of feeling is often hidden, even from themselves, until circumstances evoke an impassioned response:

"I say, Queequeg! Why don't you speak? It's I--Ishmael." But all remained still as before. ... Something must have happened. Apoplexy!
... And running up after me, she caught me as I was again trying to force open the door. ... "Have to burst it open," said I, and was running down the entry a little, for a good start, when the landlady caught me, again vowing I should not break down her premises; but I tore from her, and with a sudden bodily rush dashed myself full against the mark.--(Melville, Moby Dick)

Of course, not all of life is rosy, and INFPs are not exempt from the same disappointments and frustrations common to humanity. As INTPs tend to have a sense of failed competence, INFPs struggle with the issue of their own ethical perfection, e.g., perfo rmance of duty for the greater cause. An INFP friend describes the inner conflict as not good versus bad, but on a grand scale, Good vs. Evil. Luke Skywalker in Star Wars depicts this conflict in his struggle between the two sides of "The Force." Although the dark side must be reckoned with, the INFP believes that good ultimately triumphs.

Some INFPs have a gift for taking technical information and putting it into layman's terms. Brendan Kehoe's Zen and the Art of the Internet is one example of this "de-jargoning" talent in action.

Functional Analysis:

Introverted Feeling

INFPs live primarily in a rich inner world of introverted Feeling. Being inward-turning, the natural attraction is away from world and toward essence and ideal. This introversion of dominant Feeling, receiving its data from extraverted intuition, must be the source of the quixotic nature of these usually gentle beings. Feeling is caught in the approach- avoidance bind between concern both for people and for All Creatures Great and Small, and a psycho-magnetic repulsion from the same. The "object," be it homo sapiens or a mere representation of an organism, is valued only to the degree that the object contains some measure of the inner Essence or greater Good. Doing a good deed, for example, may provide intrinsic satisfaction which is only secondary to the greater good of striking a blow against Man's Inhumanity to Mankind.

Extraverted iNtuition

Extraverted intuition faces outward, greeting the world on behalf of Feeling. What the observer usually sees is creativity with implied good will. Intuition spawns this type's philosophical bent and strengthens pattern perception. It combines as auxiliary with introverted Feeling and gives rise to unusual skill in both character development and fluency with language--a sound basis for the development of literary facility. If INTPs aspire to word mechanics, INFPs would be verbal artists.

Introverted Sensing

Sensing is introverted and often invisible. This stealth function in the third position gives INFPs a natural inclination toward absent- mindedness and other-worldliness, however, Feeling's strong people awareness provides a balancing, mitigating effect. This introverted Sensing is somewhat categorical, a subdued version of SJ sensing. In the third position, however, it is easily overridden by the stronger functions.

Extraverted Thinking

The INFP may turn to inferior extraverted Thinking for help in focusing on externals and for closure. INFPs can even masquerade in their ESTJ business suit, but not without expending considerable energy. The inferior, problematic nature of Extraverted Thinking is its lack of context and proportion. Single impersonal facts may loom large or attain higher priority than more salient principles which are all but overlooked.

Copyright © 1996-2007 by Joe Butt

INFP: The Idealist

The INFP is a dreamy, imaginative, idealist, capable of finding the good in anything or anyone, even something as foul as Newark, New Jersey. INFPs are sometimes dangerous to the well-being of society as a whole, as they are prone to adopting subversive and destructive ideologies like "The world should be fair," "People should treat one another well," and "You know, 'Friends' is a really, really stupid television show."

These irrational thought patterns may sometimes cause INFPs to run off and join the circus, the Resistance, or the Rebellion, where they tend to do well in any position requiring excellent hand-eye coordination or mastery of the Force.

COMPATIBILITY: INFPs and ISTJs generally exhibit a natural predator/prey relationship, which, though it might appear harsh and cruel from the outside, is all part of the natural cycle of life. In fact, were it not for the predation of the ISTJ, the population of INFPs would soon grow to unsustainable levels, overwhelming the ability of their ecological niche to support them.

Famous idealists include that girl in your sixth-grade homeroom who got the teacher fired for saying that girls aren't good at math; that guy in the cubicle next to yours who got the manager fired for saying that women don't make good employees; and Anais Nin.

INFP Personality Types

INFPs direct their energy towards the inner world of thoughts and emotions. They give importance to particular ideas or beliefs, focusing on those things that they belief in most strongly. They prefer dealing with patterns and possibilities, especially for people. They prefer to undertake work that has a meaningful purpose.

What makes an INFP tick?

The Dominant function is the judging one of Feeling. Characteristics associated with this function include:

* Makes decisions on the basis of personal values
* Is appreciative and accepting of people - enjoying company and seeking harmony
* Assesses the impact of decisions on others, being sympathetic or compassionate
* Takes a personal approach

The judging Feeling function is introverted. That is, Feeling is used primarily to govern the inner world of thoughts and emotions. The INFP will therefore:

* develop an inner emotional life that is often unseen to others, but is experienced as intense
* retain a strong sense of values, which are often not expressed
* emotionally accept or reject various aspects of life - for example, deciding whether praise or criticism received is valid and, at extreme, ignoring whatever is unacceptable
* feel appreciation towards others, but not express it

The Feeling function is primarily supported by extraverted iNtuitive perception, That is, iNtuitive perception is used primarily to manage the outer world of actions and spoken words. This will modify the way that the Feeling is directed, by:

* focusing the (inner world) Feeling on ideas and possibilities for people
* looking for meaningful relationships
* deciding on friendships through insight into their personality and motivation

The classic temperament of an INFP is Apollonian, or Choleric, for whom a basic driving force is the search for meaning or purpose.
Contributions to the team of an INFP

In a team environment, the INFP can contribute by:

* promoting insight and common understanding amongst the team
* contributing well thought out and innovative ideas
* generating team spirit though sensitive listening and a quiet enthusiasm
* focusing on areas of agreement and building on others' proposals
* where there are areas of disagreement, exploring a wide range of options to see if a point of agreement can be found

The potential ways in which an INFP can irritate others include:

* being idealistic
* appearing out of touch, perhaps not fully recognising current realities, and disregarding those they find unacceptable
* being stubborn over issues the group did not anticipate being a problem
* spending too much time thinking
* avoiding conflict and not giving forthright criticism when it is needed
* focusing so much on interpersonal issues that cost and other impersonal considerations are not adequately discussed

Personal Growth
As with all types, the INFP can achieve personal growth by developing all functions that are not fully developed, through actions such as:

* being prepared to declare the INFP's personal values
* investigating and recognising the facts before interpreting what they mean
* listing options and undertaking a formal process of evaluation against criteria, including a cost benefit analysis
* undertaking a critical appraisal of a situation or person, and expressing disagreement or criticism when it could be of value to the recipient
* focusing on impersonal details during discussions and when making decisions
* listing options and undertaking a formal process of evaluation against criteria, including a cost benefit analysis
* establishing a long term goal, preparing a detailed implementation plan, and sticking to it

Recognising Stress

As stress increases, 'learned behaviour' tends to give way to the natural style, so the INFP will behave more according to type when under greater stress. For example, in a crisis, the INFP might:

* concentrate only on what the INFP sees as important
* work alone if possible
* contribute creative ideas, but overlook current realities
* fail to consider the cost implications

Under extreme stress, fatigue or illness, the INFP's shadow may appear - a negative form of ESTJ. Example characteristics are:

* being very critical and find fault with almost everything
* doing things to excess - e.g.: eating, drinking or exercising
* becoming bossy or domineering and ignoring others' feelings
* being pedantic about unimportant details

The shadow is part of the unconscious that is often visible to others, onto whom the shadow is projected. The INFP may therefore readily see these faults in others without recognising it in him/her self.

INFP: The Healer

INFPs make up 4.5% of the US population.

INFPs are creative idealists, guided by their own core values and beliefs. To an INFP, values are paramount; they show little concern for mundane practicality and social conformity, and are guided by their own idealism and sense of what is right. Typically unconventional, INFPs often develop an offbeat personal style and enjoy expressing themselves with creative pursuits like writing or art. INFPs want work that they find personally meaningful; although they are not often ambitious, they can become quite involved in projects that they believe in. INFPs are sensitive, caring and compassionate. They are deeply concerned with the personal growth of themselves and others. However, they can sometimes seem aloof; they tend to be independent, soft-spoken, and reserved, and prefer relationships where they feel a real connection. INFPs are typically flexible and accommodating, but will react strongly if they feel their values are being violated.

Popular hobbies for INFPs include poetry, creative writing, music, photography, theater, and visual art.

At work, the INFP is not particularly motivated by money or status, preferring work that aligns with their personal values and drive to help others. An ideal job for an INFP allows them to express their individuality, be creative, and work towards a socially positive goal. They enjoy working autonomously and having control over how and when to complete a project. An ideal work environment for an INFP is cooperative, supportive, and flexible.

In leadership positions, INFPs are passionate about their ideals and motivate others through encouragement and positive vision. They are supportive and creative leaders and can most effectively lead small, cooperative teams of people that are similarly motivated to achieve a positive mission. Because of their flexible nature and strong desire for harmony, they may avoid conflict and delay making difficult decisions.

Popular careers for INFP types include:

* artist
* writer
* graphic designer
* musician
* architect
* interior designer
* counselor
* psychologist
* special education teacher
* public health educator
* librarian
* social science researcher
* massage therapist
* religious worker
* alternative medicine practitioner
* physical therapist
* corporate trainer
* human resources recruiter

In relationships, the INFP is nurturing, empathic, and loyal. INFPs select their friends and lovers carefully, looking for a strong bond and congruent values. They tend to be open-minded and accepting of others’ behavior and preferences, so long as their core values are not violated. They are self-aware and often spiritual. Close and harmonious relationships are important to INFPs, although they also need a lot of independent time to think and reflect. They can be very sensitive, but often keep negative reactions to themselves because they are reluctant to engage in confrontation. INFPs value a partner who is committed, supportive, patient, and loving.

Good matches for an INFP include other Intuitive Feeling types (INFP, ENFP, INFJ, ENFJ) as well as Intuitive Thinking types (INTP, ENTP, INTJ, ENTJ). INFPs are attracted to other Intuitive types because of their similarly creative and unconventional thinking, and INFPs paired with other NFs have one of the highest rates of relationship satisfaction of all possible type combinations. INFPs have low satisfaction in relationships with Sensing, Thinking, Judging types (ISTJ and ESTJ), where they often feel stifled and controlled.

As parents, INFPs are caring, supportive, and adaptable. They rarely establish a strict or structured household, preferring instead to address problems and situations as they arise. They often allow their children a lot of latitude and influence in making decisions, and may leave the creation and enforcement of household rules up to another parent. Children of INFPs often find that they have the freedom to express themselves and make their own decisions—until they violate their INFP parent’s values. When values are in question, the INFP parent becomes firm and inflexible.

Famous INFPs include Isabel Myers (creator of the Myers-Briggs Type Indicator), St. John the disciple, Carl Rogers, Princess Diana, George Orwell, Audrey Hepburn, Fred Rogers, A.A. Milne, Helen Keller, Jacqueline Kennedy Onassis, Julia Roberts, and William Shakespeare.

Interesting facts about the INFP:

* On personality trait measures, score as Artistic, Reflective, Careless, Sensitive, Flexible, and Appreciative
* Among least likely to suffer heart disease
* In men, among least likely to report chronic pain
* Second highest of all types to report marital dissatisfaction
* Among most likely to have suicidal thoughts in college
* Tend to be more successful than the average in learning a foreign language
* Among types most likely to be dissatisfied with their work
* Personal values include Autonomy and Creativity
* Overrepresented in occupations in counseling, writing, and the arts

General Description of the INFP

* - Present a calm, pleasant face to the world.
* - Seem reticent and shy.- Great capacity for caring, but find it hard to show this capacity.
* - IDEALISTIC.
* - Have a profound sense of honor derived from internal values.
* - Often have a subtle and tragic motif running through their lives; tendency to be martyrs.
* - May live a paradox, drawn toward purity and unity but looking over the shoulder at the sullied and desecrated.
* - Atonement for perceived mistakes, yet always internal atonement.
* - Have a gift for interpreting and creating symbols.
* - Adaptable, welcoming new ideas and information.
* - Patient with complicated situations, but impatient with routine details.
* - Their home is their castle; fiercely protective of home and family.
* - "Life is a serious matter."
* - Tend to be easygoing and congenial, preferring to fit in rather than to create waves - so long as they can do so without violating their ideals.
* - Resist being labeled.
* - Strive for self-identity, self-knowledge, and self-definition.
* - Schedules are always subject to change because of others' immediate needs.
* - Avoid discussing issues that they fear may cause disagreement.


INFPs as negotiators

Strengths of INFPs

* Open-minded, flexible, adaptable until their dearly held values are trod upon and then they will become angry.
* No need to dominate or even to "win" in negotiations.
* If they care about the outcome, they will work toward success.
* If they can be latched to an ideal outcome, they will work hard.

Weaknesses of INFPs

* Under stress thy become confused, "can't think straight." They may beome "nit-picky," illogical.
* They may get sidetracked into the psychology of the process, not the outcome.
* They do not address their personal needs very well.
* They have an inner conflict because they do not really believe in divorce. This may result in there not bringing the energy to negotiations that they would to something they truly believe in.
* Their idealism interferes with getting to hard, pragmatic outcomes that protect their needs.
* They may not be good candidates for the negotiation environment because they do not like to argue.
* Because divorce is contrary to their personal value systems they will have a hard time protecting their worldly goods.
* Provided the INFP becomes committed to the negotiation process they can concentrate and pay attention to detail.
* The INFP might consider it a personal crusade (they might see it as something beyond their personal needs eg as the vanguard of the women's movement.


How INFPs see themselves as negotiators

* Unselfish, empathic, creative and spiritual and idealistic.
* They can sense others distress.

How others see the INFPs as negotiators

* Unrealistic.
* Naive (weak-kneed), out of touch, a pushover.


Negotiating Positively with other types

* They need a lawyer working with them to provide objectivity and to motivate them to closure.
* They need a hard-nosed business backup person to consult with and to bring in if the negotiations heat up.
* They should not negotiate early in the divorce, before the grieving has been done. The INFP should wait to become emotionally disengaged.
* INFPs may need a third party (lawyer, therapist, accountant) to successfully cross the divorcing shoals, especially financial issues. Parenting issues may be important enough to spark their crusader zeal, but usually not finances.

Careers for INFPs

Psychologist.

What is it about the career that makes it a good match for INFPs? Well, as in most good matches, the career makes use of INFPs' common characteristics such as good listening and communication skills, adaptability, flexibility, the focus on possibilities, and working in a way that supports human development. Many INFPs have well-developed writing and speaking skills, which are advantageous in this profession. For a lot of INFPs, a satisfying career has to give them room to grow and learn, as well as variety and intellectual stimulation. INFPs frequently have deep, strong feelings, and a great deal of personal warmth, although these qualities might not be visible at the first meeting with one. They rarely enjoy working in a bureaucracy or highly structured organization. Many INFPs find careers where they work and develop close relationships with other caring and creative people quite satisfying. Likewise, many INFPs feel best working in a job that has meaning and purpose and where they can help others. Increasing personal understanding and alleviating human suffering are two goals many find worth pursuing. Along with the above, many INFPs find that some amount of privacy and time to work alone are important. INFPs can be quite idealistic, open-minded, and tolerant, all qualities that are good to have in psychologist.

INFPs and Organisations

INFPs frequently enjoy workplaces that are low on bureaucracy, calm, quiet, and allow time and space for reflection. They often like flexible jobs that have little routine, while maintaining a collegial, cooperative atmosphere. INFPs generally prefer to work with pleasant colleagues who are committed to the same values. They are more likely to praise than criticize fellow employees or subordinates. INFPs rarely enjoy the traditional leadership role, preferring to create their own unique version. They would rather be facilitators than leaders much of the time. As with other NF types, they frequently focus on ideals, both their own and the organization's.

Some areas of concern for INFPs can be trying to please everyone, procrastination because of perfectionism, spending too much time in reflection and too little in action, and missing the reality of a situation. As stated, many INFPs focus on their ideals, and may ignore realities that conflict with their ideals. One skill to acquire might be learning to deal with what is versus searching for the perfect solution. Likewise, learning to say no and being tougher can help. Action plans (if used!) can be quite useful in helping INFPs move out of the reflection phase. Again, it might be important to adjust to the facts and logic of a situation or problem instead of rigidly adhering to personal values.

INFPs and Stress

How can you tell when an INFP is under stress, particularly at work?

Some signs include losing confidence in their self-worth or contributions to the group, having unrealistic expectations from situations or people, and seeming to be moody and hypersensitive. Some INFPs seem to carry the weight of the world on their shoulders, or become discouraged or lose heart. Others appear to take on the role of martyr, acting as if no one loves or cares for them. INFPs have reported feeling cut off from all that is important to them when they are feeling stressed.

Some things that can cause stress for INFPs are feeling like someone they care about has been victimized, feeling as if they must compromise their dearly held values to maintain harmony or peace, or if some cause they believe in has been criticized. Another stressor might be the feeling they are being pushed around, then they decide they have had enough. INFPs can react strongly to others who likewise have strong emotional reactions to situations or comments.

Personality Types Under Stress

INFP

INFPs feel internal turmoil when they find themselves in situations in which there is conflict between their inner code of ethics and their relationships with others. They feel caught between pleasing others and maintaining their own integrity. Their natural tendency to identify with others, compounded with their self-sacrificial dispositions, tends to leave them confused as to who they really are. Their quiet personalities further feeds their feelings of depersonalization. The INFP's quest for self-identity then seems even more alluring — but increasingly impossible to attain.

As with all NFs, the INFP will feel lost and perplexed at stressful times. As stress builds, INFPs become disconnected from their own personality and perceived place in life. They will lose sight of who they are in relation to time and place. They may not make basic observations, while instead they will focus on the more abstract and symbolic meanings of a particular interaction. This can sometimes baffle those who expect more direct communication and a fairly concrete relationship.

Writing Styles

INFP

While they are usually quietly adaptable, INFP's may dig in their heels when something threatens their important personal values and defend their values eloquently in writing. These warm, serious, insightful people love new ideas, especially if they can see the benefits for people. As such, they can do a great job on the company newsletter. INFP's are perfectionists in ideals. Their career path often takes them to the non-profit world because they work for more than tangible rewards.

Below are some of the advantages and challenges INFP's face when writing:

Strengths:
Often find wonderful, unique phrasing to paint a picture with words.
Excellent writers on themes with human interest.
Good at building bridges between different work groups.
Rewrites are no problem— often love to revise.

Challenges:
Writing tends to be lengthy and they fall in love with the words.
May assume readers know more than they do or agree with theses.
Because they empathize so strongly with others, may soften the message too much.
They can always find a more clever phrasing, so may have trouble letting go.

Summary of Idealists

* Make sense of the world using inner values
* Focus on personal growth and the growth of others
* Think of themselves as bright, forgiving and curious
* May sometimes appear stubborn

More about Idealists

Idealists put time and energy into developing personal values that they use as a guide through life. They may seek fulfilment by helping others improve themselves and often want to make the world a better place. Idealists only share their inner values with people they respect.

Idealists are the most likely group to say they are vegetarian, according to a UK survey.

Idealists enjoy discussions about a wide range of topics, particularly those that deal with the future. They are typically easy-going and flexible, but if their values are challenged they may refuse to compromise.

In situations where they can’t use their talents or are unappreciated, Idealists may have trouble expressing themselves and withdraw. Under extreme stress, Idealists may become very critical of others, or lose confidence in their own ability to cope.

Recognition for their work is important to Idealists; however, they are also good at spotting false praise.

Idealist Careers

Idealists are often drawn to jobs where they can help people reach their potential. They are also attracted to careers that allow artistic creativity.

creative, smart, idealist, loner, attracted to sad things, disorganized, avoidant, can be overwhelmed by unpleasant feelings, prone to quitting, prone to feelings of loneliness, ambivalent of the rules, solitary, daydreams about people to maintain a sense of closeness, focus on fantasies, acts without planning, low self confidence, emotionally moody, can feel defective, prone to lateness, likes esoteric things, wounded at the core, feels shame, frequently losing things, prone to sadness, prone to dreaming about a rescuer, disorderly, observer, easily distracted, does not like crowds, can act without thinking, private, can feel uncomfortable around others, familiar with the darkside, hermit, more likely to support marijuana legalization, can sabotage self, likes the rain, sometimes can't control fearful thoughts, prone to crying, prone to regret, attracted to the counter culture, can be submissive, prone to feeling discouraged, frequently second guesses self, not punctual, not always prepared, can feel victimized, prone to confusion, prone to irresponsibility, can be pessimistic

poet, painter, freelance artist, musician, writer, art therapist, teacher (art, music, drama), songwriter, art historian, library assistant, composer, work in the perfoming arts, art curator, playwrite, bookseller, cartoonist, video editor, photographer, philosopher, record store owner, digital artist, cinematographer, costume designer, film producer, philosophy professor, librarian, music therapist, enviromentalist, movie director, activist, bookstore owner, filmmaker

business professional, manager, executive, administrator, business owner, supervisor, office manager, business analyst, financial analyst, public relations manager, ceo, executive assistant, judge, event coordinator, lawyer, office worker