I start asking questions. And if I have a drink in my hand, it gets raised to my lips often. Of course after a while, I want to leave...

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"It's a big industry
And they can beat my brain
With houses, cars and shame
They are insane"
~ Iggy Pop

Parties...

I'm okay with (actually, I love) parties where there are activities such as playing games or a set meal or something like that.

But when it's a party where you're expected to walk in and then hang out and chill and hold a small-talk and/or networking-style conversation with random people, it's like an exercise in torture. I tend to awkwardly latch myself onto the most inclusive-looking group, say hi and try to join in their conversation. My pacing tends to be off though... I either will be too enthusiastic and drop obscure bombs into the conversation or be extremely quiet and adopt the listening role.

And yes, holding a drink or a snack is the best thing!

step one: have enough drinks to get a buzz on
step two: have fun

in all seriousness, i really don't enjoy parties that much unless/until i find a smaller group of people to hang out with that are interested in talking about things that i may be interested in. i've never been one to flit from group to group like a social butterfly lol.

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Isn't it pretty to think so?

Hypothetically, I would leave immediately.

Hide in a corner, say next to nothing, leave.

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What would the world be, once bereft
Of wet and of wildness? Let them be left,
O let them be left, wildness and wet;
Long live the weeds and the wilderness yet. - Gerard Manley Hopkins

I just stuff my face with food, laugh occasionally at the better jokes, excuse myself...and never return (except for dessert seconds)!

Well, at a huge party I attended last week, I actually did what the OP mentioned.

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I've managed to become somewhat socially competent lately. Talking is easy (still not very enjoyable for me though) if I keep calm, wait about a second or two before speaking, and just answer honestly and sincerely. People seem to respond well to it.
When I was a kid in large family type events or just events involving people I would just find someplace quiet where no one would bother me until my parents said it was time to go home.

Nowadays I'll go to a party if its being thrown by people I know or if a good number of them will be there. Typically I'll stick close to them in such situations, and never engage in conversation with anyone else. Unless there is some reason I would want to. If I'm invited to something I don't know anything about by someone I barely know chances are I'm going to say no. I can almost guarantee it.

So how do I act at a party? Calmly, and I try to take talking slow. I still don't like parties though.

I'm never get invited

Okay, not true, but I don't have that many friends that know each other. I don't belong in a "gang" or a community of friends. I have alot of indivdual friends, one here and another there, but no fellowships.
So at every party I get invited to I would have to mingle with people I don't know at all, and that makes me reluctant to go to parties.

I tend to stick with those few I actually know, and just be a normal silent sidekick kinda guy. I hate it.

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Is the cup half-full or half-empty? Neither, the cup is the rightful domain of air,
and water are the imperialistic invader that must be fought by all means neccesary.
Drink it.

Parties? What are those?

Depends on the party. If it's at a house and they have pets, I will introduce myself to the pets. If they have a cat, then we will become best friends for life.

If it's outside in the world, then I will probably buy a drink, sit on the sofa, and the leave when no one is looking

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~I'll think of a witty comment later, or not. Maybe something to do with clouds?!~

Haha, I can relate to befriending the pets. It's far easier than humans, sometimes. Humans don't take so kindly to being scritched under the chin and rubbed on their bellies.

maybe they should... dogs always seem to enjoy it

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Isn't it pretty to think so?