The Thinker wrote:
I usually come to conclusions and for whatever reason when I clarify, I am usually correct.
That's the intuitive mind at its best. However, as you've hinted in your post, revealing the contents of your intuition is a matter of timing in order not to be off-putting. Still, we intuitives do get ahead of ourselves, sometimes, I know I have!
The Thinker wrote:
Then it becomes a situation of problem solving with the other person, where I am trying to help them understand the best way that they could rectify their end of things, while I try to do the same on mine. (This is the controlling aspect that I mentioned, and it's very difficult for me to step away and allow the other person to slack off or wallow in their pity etc. if there is a way out of a problem in our relationship).
Not all control is bad, no doubt you've realised. It's like a driving teacher pulling the breaks on a student who is about to crash the car. Why wait for the crash to happen? You'd only both get stuck! Control WITH compassion, in other words. But similar to what I've read from your second poem, sometimes letting the other party make his own mistakes is the best form of charity. So yeah, there comes a point when the relationship gets so abusive and burdensome, that you just have to let go, and I don't think anyone could possibly blame you of sabotaging your relationship because you'd already done so much to try to make it work, it's just that the other party wouldn't cooperate.
The Thinker wrote:
While I do have a great deal of empathy to continue to listen and try and problem solve, I do tend to see that aspect of myself get taken advantage of by the other person at times. I have exhausted myself numerous times during my relationships, with being overly available and steadfast with problem solving. I care a great deal about my loved ones.
That's because even people with problems can be manipulative of the persons to whom they turn. It's the pardoxical part of the "victim" mentality. The trick is to turn the tables on the victimizing victim - help them see that they are more powerful than the enemies they are facing - whether human or abstract. Show them that they can take charge; show absolute faith and confidence that they will make a positive change in their lives, and stand your ground. Self-interest is always at work and it is in their best self-interest to change for the better, so be confident that they will one day see things as rationally as you do!
