Hello INFP. You are the warm honeysuckle breeze as the sun eases into a glassy sailboat sea.

What are your tips and ideas for being or becoming a more satisfied INFP?

As Mary Oliver (and Mempy) said, "Love what you love."
The more I have tried to live as if it's wrong to be an INFP, the more unhappy and stressed I am.
The more I honor and try to live as if it were ok to be an INFP, the happier I am.

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Fiction is just like real life, only truer.

There is also this topic which I started but to which many others added their ideas.

http://infp.globalchatter.com/messagebo ... php?t=6266

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Fiction is just like real life, only truer.

Yes I remember that thread well but I was trying to start a positive new thread here, in this forum. My question is not about being happy. I was thinking more about how people use and grow INFP talents and tendencies (or weaknesses) in satisfying productive ways, self-realization type stuff, not so much about how to attain a pleasant mood or eliminate an unpleasant one. Of course there will be some overlap in answers but it is a different question.

How do you try to "live like an INFP"?

Hmm. Interesting difference here. I don't see being "happy" in the sense I used it there as simply about changing a mood. I see it as much more fundamental, in the sense of having a happy life, which for an INFP means having a meaningful, satisfying, connected life.

In my experience, if I take care of myself moment to moment to try to meet my needs -- emotional, stress-relief, physical, social, spiritual, etc., I find life meaningful and am able to move forward towards goals. That's what I was trying to get at in that thread.


Take time alone frequently, use that time to explore your spiritual and artistic sides. Do things for others -- INFPs value being valuable. etc. A lot of the stuff I put in that thread about being happy. Maybe I should have titled it, "How to self-realize as an INFP and thereby have a more satisfying life."

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Fiction is just like real life, only truer.

Yeah, what Fern said.



I think when I originally found the INFPgc board and really started to delve into this whole INFP thing it actually became too much of a focus. I was thinking of myself and my interactions with the world/others as related to INFP rather than just being...well...myself - although a - one of many, perhaps - definition of myself may indeed be INFP.

In that sense, to your original question N.C.E,...



I don't think the goal is to become a more satisfied INFP. For me the goal is to become a more satisfied individual. That may ultimately be just a vague distinction of terms, but to me it seems important. Focusing on becoming a more satisfied INFP feels much more daunting and "fake" than becoming a satisfied "me".

And yet I'm still posting on boards committed to INFPism. I suppose that could be ironic?

I think you read something into "satisfied INFP" that wasnt intended. This is an INFP forum, so naturally most individuals here are INFP.

It only matters if we are satisfied individuals, but the lens of INFP sheds light (for some) on ways to understand ourselves and achieve satisfaction that we might never figure out otherwise. Its those things that may be somewhat unique to INFPs that I'm interested in here.

Yeah, that's understandable. What would be a core INFP thing to make us happy?

Hmmmmm....

Expression through stories, either reading or creating, seems to be a common theme amongst most INFPs.

Creating in someway seems to be a core INFP trait of expression.

Use Extroverted Intuition more!

I read on the Personality Page.com website ages ago that the difference between a 'healthy' and 'unhealthy' INFP was one that did not dwell within their own FI-doms and that exercised NE for the good of all. Now, I don't really care much for what apparently defines a 'healthy' INFP, but I do think that using NE more in my every day life makes me feel much more satisfied with myself.. If only because focussing on others stops myself from wallowing within FI too much.

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~I'll think of a witty comment later, or not. Maybe something to do with clouds?!~

Lighten up. Stop contemplating your navel so much. Other people aren't judging you. They really aren't that interested in other peoples lives.

Quoted for truth!

Maybe the 'serious' INFP's don't like to be told to 'lighten up' all the time, but I think taking life less seriously can only help to increase personal happiness with reality.

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~I'll think of a witty comment later, or not. Maybe something to do with clouds?!~

Ahaha. It's true, it depends how people phrase it or tell me. Normally I don't like being told to 'lighten up' because I never thought of myself as sullen to start with, and when people say that it just suggests to me that they don't quite have the depth I'm looking for. I mean, I'm pretty laid back, and despair far less over others' judgements than I used to (although in the case of people I like or respect a great deal, it is still an issue). I think the problem is that 'serious' often has a negative connotation, because it seems to be synonymous with a lack of enjoyment. Can't I daydream and introspect and be happy because of it? In addition to being social and/or cheerful?

For me, one large thing that helped is becoming comfortable with myself to the point of feeling grounded mostly no matter where I go. This will be pretty obvious to anyone who's lived a while, I suppose, but if I can feel fully present and natural in a variety of circumstances, it frees up my mind to concentrate purely on external events. Then I can readily go out of my comfort zone and experience more, which allows me to grow more. I was contemplating while walking earlier today that a lot of perfectionism and insecurities related to such are due to an 'unhealthy attachment to outcomes'. As much as this may be true, it's bloody difficult to keep perspective sometimes.

For me... self expression through any number of means, be it musical, writing, or visual (though my visual artistic skills are DIRE to say the least) is a great source of energy. I like friendly atmospheres in general, though preferably more tranquil than rambunctious. If I have a good friend or friends who value me and I am in touch with at least semi-regularly, that provides me with both balance and an anchor to reality. If I'm busy and around people most of the day, a good hour or two of solitude walking, reading a book, or even playing video games is very welcome. Similarly, if I have a lot of free time, I should have a goal to work towards and do things more actively, though this is of course harder than the previous point.

I just think it's all about finding a balance of the things you enjoy most. Too much of any one thing is liable to lead to dissatisfaction in some areas. Just as INFPs we are probably more drawn towards the imaginative, spiritual, and expressive sides more than anything

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We are beyond our own ability to define ourselves - we can only describe what we think we are.

Cancel your subscription to chameleon times that would like to project the sub personalities and camouflage to fit in the big bad world and let your authentic self run wildly nudist.

To do so otherwise you'll just be unhappy because your repressing the self to fit others image of yourself. Easy to say, yet the business world is a slippery slope.

I was in a situation recently where I had to defend my INFP-ishness (or P-ness if you prefer P-ness).

I was told by an ESTP (with whom I had been staying) that other people did not know whether or not I had enjoyed myself because I didn't show it on my face, and that that was disappointing given the various efforts they had gone to for me.

I replied that I had made a point of thanking each and every person for their hospitality straight after each meal or occasion we had got together, so I found it a little strange that my explicit words of acknowledgement and thanks should be overlooked in favour of some apparently lacking subtle facial expression. I also pointed out that not everybody wears their emotions on their sleeve or indeed on their face, and that this is not wrong, just less common, but that there is nothing wrong with it - it's what introverts do. (For good measure I pointed out that ESTP was the first person ever to flag this up as being disappointing.)

Nyah! Ya gotta defend the INFP ways sometimes innit! And relating this to the original question - never feel you have to apologise for being INFP just because you are sometimes not like other people. In terms of type function I suppose this is putting Fi to good use.

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What would the world be, once bereft
Of wet and of wildness? Let them be left,
O let them be left, wildness and wet;
Long live the weeds and the wilderness yet. - Gerard Manley Hopkins

(advice to myself which might be useable for other infps)

Don't sabotage what's good because it's not the best. That usually turn good into miserable.

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Is the cup half-full or half-empty? Neither, the cup is the rightful domain of air,
and water are the imperialistic invader that must be fought by all means neccesary.
Drink it.

1) Stop doing what other people want you to do and do what you want.

2) Speak your mind no one will kill you for it.

3) Your not always wrong, your not bad.

4) Its ok if its not the best so long as its perfect.

In other words you don't have to create the best thing in the world so long as its perfect in your eyes.

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Joy, beautiful spark of divinity*
Daughter of Elysium,
We enter, drunk with fire,
Into your sanctuary, heavenly (daughter)!
Your magic reunites
What custom strictly divided.
All men become brothers,
Where your gentle wing rests -Ode to Joy

Network with other Fi-types. Find strength in numbers.

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Surround self with animals. Puppies are good, kittehs are also a natural fit.