I'm no saint, I'm often angry myself, but what is the point of being so angry? I realize that anger might be a good thing sometimes, a mobilizing emotion to quickly change something wrong. But I often see people get angry at these absurd situations, like forgetting the car-keys or losing a slice of bread on the floor. Just today I got angry at the weather when I had to walk home during a rainstorm. Threw the whole "why me?" routine.

It's like in that child-upbringing thread on this forum, constantly reacting with anger, shouting and negative remarks just make life miserable for all of us. I do believe there is a reason for anger to exist, but sometimes I think people are much more angrier then what it is rational to be, that the anger doesn't solve the problems, it just makes life worse.

Any thoughts?

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Is the cup half-full or half-empty? Neither, the cup is the rightful domain of air,
and water are the imperialistic invader that must be fought by all means neccesary.
Drink it.

I agree. If you can be master of your anger, you can make it work for you rather than against you. For instance, if you're in pain, getting angry and cursing might just make you feel worse because you might actually be blowing what might just be a superficial injury out of proportion. Anger is like hyper-focusing, and some things don't deserve all that much attention.

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I don't really see the point in anger either. It just leads to things like hate, and most of the time people misuse it for irrational things which wouldn't be a big deal if they got a little perspective.

But, there are some things in life that are worth getting angry over and anger then becomes a constructive force for change. Anger at injustice and intolerance, for example. But it's only this kind of constructive anger that is worth having.

Some seem to think they can't control their anger and that when it hits, it must be experienced and explored, but I don't think so. Anger is an emotion I can decide to have. If I notice myself getting angry or annoyed over something I deem trivial, then I'll stop, or at least attempt to. Just because other people are angry at something doesn't mean I have to be. Or vice versa.

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~I'll think of a witty comment later, or not. Maybe something to do with clouds?!~

And it seems that both extremes in handling anger - either keeping it all bottled up or blowing one's top often - can cause cardiac problems. So how well you manage your anger will ultimately determine the quality of your health and your life.

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Anger is like crack it is an addictive thing. It is easier to be angry than to be understanding, people like easy.

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Joy, beautiful spark of divinity*
Daughter of Elysium,
We enter, drunk with fire,
Into your sanctuary, heavenly (daughter)!
Your magic reunites
What custom strictly divided.
All men become brothers,
Where your gentle wing rests -Ode to Joy

There are all sorts of different types of anger, with differing levels of effectiveness. It's one thing to be an angry person who spews negative energy all over the place on the principle that misery loves company, and another thing to put anger into action constructively to improve something (such as being angry about injustice and working in civil rights movements). It seems to me that INFP types tend to direct our anger at ourselves and become self-critical instead of blowing up and spewing anger at everyone in the vicinity. That's also an unhealthy move. I don't think there's anything wrong with anger itself, it's just how you harness it.

I only allow anger if it's justified. For example, if I feel moral indignance or outrage, and I determine that I am justified in expressing that, then I allow myself to go at it full bore. If it's more like anger borne of frustration, I generally try to suppress it, or at least let it out in a safe (and preferably solitary) environment. Since high school I've learned that it's impossible to store up too much anger, as everyone has a breaking point, no matter how distant it may be, and often trying to sweep things under the carpet is far more destructive in the long run - both for your own emotional health and to your immediate surroundings when you do snap.

Still, I think self-directed anger is overall better than explosive anger, because there's less collateral damage that way. Also, it's kind of funny, but especially where people mention parents getting angry at their children over trivial things, and generally stressful environments, that in itself angers me. Living in such an environment is bad for anyone, but the effect is magnified on children as they can pick up bad habits which can take a lifetime to shake off, form disproportionate worldviews, and even undergo changes on a DNA level. In fact, there was a study conducted, I believe, on young children left in daycare as opposed to with relatives or parents, and it monitored changes in the levels of cortisol (the stress hormone) found in saliva samples. Turns out the ones at the daycare were much worse off, especially if the day was overly structured or the kids didn't get on well with the caregiver. Which is hardly surprising, but the study also mentioned, I believe, that people living in deprived areas as well as people exhibiting antisocial behaviour show abnormal levels of cortisol, not declining during the day as it should, and having concentrations up to twice as high as that of controls, past a certain age (14 or 16, perhaps).

However much I do feel angry, I also feel powerless, and I can't decide what angers me more: the disproportionate and, in my opinion, utterly absurd reactions of anger some people have towards situations, their ignorance or apathy in doing so, or my own feelings of powerlessness in rectifying the situation. Generally speaking, it takes a lot, or something very specific to get me properly agitated, though. If I lost my car keys I'd probably just get a sinking feeling in my stomach, and/or resign myself to the problem and shrug it off. I'd welcome a rainstorm for the variety, as long as I didn't get shocked with lightning. Life's too short to sweat the trivial stuff. Things most likely to anger me are things that conflict with my values, and I'm also pretty easily frustrated when performing poorly in a competitive environment. I can either be very cold and intense in anger, or I'll explode completely - rarely any middle ground. Save that, though, it's smooth sailing.

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We are beyond our own ability to define ourselves - we can only describe what we think we are.

Anger for deep reasons is a natural emotion. Try to use it for good.

Anger disproportionate to depth of reason can weigh your soul down unnecessarily.

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Bumping this topic. I'm thinking about moving in with my mom for the summer to save up some money before I go overseas in the fall, but the big problem I have about living there is my sister. She's an ISFJ with serious anger management issues. She's verbally abusive and extremely controlling and she's constantly picking fights with our INFP mom (and to a lesser extent me and our other sister) over insignificant things like leaving a cup in the sink. She jumps to these wild scenarios and just starts ranting and yelling and ruins everyone's mood. I can't tell you how many times I've been in the middle of a nice conversation with my mom and she's come in and started screaming until everyone was miserable. For example, I visited them last week and decided to stay a day longer and she went on this unfathomable rant about how I was going to go home and find my cat dead because I only left her two bowls of food and two bowls of water.

It's really messed up and absolutely miserable to be around. I really don't know what to do. Apparently a couple months ago my aunt tried to intervene when she was berating our mom about eating a brownie, and she's still furious at her. I don't know if I can live with that and I have no idea how to address it. I think she needs counseling and maybe some anger management classes, but the last time I recommended that to her, she just twisted it around in her head until she came to the conclusion that the problem isn't hers, it's everyone else's.

That seems like a serious issue, bromide. Hope you can make her realize she has a problem

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Is the cup half-full or half-empty? Neither, the cup is the rightful domain of air,
and water are the imperialistic invader that must be fought by all means neccesary.
Drink it.

I'm also starting to think that excessive anger is one manifestation of poorly-developed Fe (extraverted feeling). If well-developed Fe manifests itself in the expression of empathy and/or sympathy, then the lack of Fe-development may somehow contribute to anger management issues.



I missed this earlier! Thanks for sharing this info - it certainly sheds light on why anger becomes a vicious cycle and passes on like a stubborn, virulent strain from one generation to the next.

Also, this generational perpetuation of anger may have something to do with the brain chemistry-altering effects of PTSD (from chronic stress in abusive households) and how it can lead to Borderline Personality Disorder...until the victim in turn becomes the victimizer.

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